Confession time: I’ve never seen King Kong, neither the original or the remakes. Still, the 50ish-foot gorilla is one of those legendary cinematic figures like Darth Vader or Freddy Kruger with a legacy that everyone knows even if you have not seen any of their films. Honestly, I can’t say I was expecting much out of Merian Cooper and Ernest Schoedsack‘s tale of a captive beast gone wild in the streets of New York even though it still has a very positive rating. But holy crap was it really good!

Beginning as I figure most early movies are (kind of stilted and stodgy), cryptic movie director Carl Denham (Robert Armstrong) is about to set sail to an unknown island to film a “picture!” When his crew fails to turn up a young, attractive woman to star in the production, Denham goes out and recruits the shoplifter Ann Darrow (Fay Wray) to play the love interest with no questions asked. After they’ve embarked, Denham tells the captain and his right-hand man Jack Driscoll (Bruce Cabot) of their destination: an island told of by a dying man that has “interesting” wildlife.

After a shaky encounter with the natives, Denham and crew return to their ship until a band of the island-folk abduct Ann for an offering to Kong. The rest is pretty straight forward. Kong takes Ann. Men go after Kong. Kong has fight after fight with wacky prehistoric creatures while brutally killing people. Kong is captured, taken to New York, escapes his chains, and climbs up the Empire State Building with Ann in tow. Man, was this a fun movie to watch.

I am quite shocked at how well this holds up compared to all the junk action films I’ve consumed in my lifetime. It starts somewhat slow and Kong doesn’t appear until a good ways into the movie but after he does, it is wall-to-wall action from all sides. In fact, I am surprised that this was made and commercially successful in the 1930s because it is pretty damn violent too. While there is nothing really grisly, it is impressive that an old-school, highly regarded movie like this can rack up a body count far exceeding most horror franchises.

The uncredited Cooper and Schoedsack as story-writers and directors do a great job in making almost every minute in this 80-year-old film remarkable. Sure, it is easy to pick on the awkward stop motion during much of Kong’s screen time but the era it was made notwithstanding, the impressive action sequences make it simple enough to overlook. While I’m sure there is some subtext about the dangers of keeping wild animals captive or how the white man will always destroy other tribes and cultures, I was far too busy gawking over all of the chomping and stomping and crushing to really notice.

If you haven’t already seen this classic, do yourself a favor and see it now. It is great in a completely unironic way.

First off, I have never read the graphic novel, so I swear to God, if you negate my review if this film wasn’t faithful to the source material, I will sick Kane Hodder on you.

Scott Pilgrim is 100% pure entertainment. Every fucking thing about it. From the comic booky words that fly on the screen, to the insanely clever script that is basically a group of well constructed lines stacked in order of hilarity that assemble a story. Visually, aurally, intellectually and otherwisely this film is extremely pleasing.  It’s almost guerilla like in its blatant disregard for seamless scene transitions. Which, by the way, is awesome. Pretty much every scene or line is completely unexpected and hilarious. There literally is a laugh about every 1.5 seconds.

I have accused Michael Cera of being repetitive in his characters.  This is the first film in which even though he still employs some of the same traits, I did notice that he does actually distinguish his character from all others.

Also, Kieran Culkin extremely hilarious as his roommate. But, then again, so is every person in this film.

I suppose I should mention the plot. In a nutshell, Scott Pilgrim is in love with Ramona Flowers. She is resistant to his “charms,” but eventually succumbs due to his persistence. However, they both discover that if they are to be together, Scott has to defeat Ramona’s 7 ex boyfriends. What ensues is a film that will delight video game, music, comic book and just anything fans.

I am really serious when I say that there is something to like every single second of this film. Whether it is a funny line, a bright color, a word flying across the screen, I have never seen a film that has stimulated so many different parts of my brain for the entirety of its running time.

I realize that this is a short review, but when you have nothing but positive things to say about a film, brevity is the result. I am probably the last person on Earth to see this, but I’m glad I did.

Rania Ajami’s  Asylum Seekers will arrive on DVD on August 30th. There is really only one way to describe this film: batshit crazy.

The simple synopsis of the film is as follows: 6 people who can be categorized as insane for some reason or another, seek asylum (ha) from the outside world that is ever increasing it’s focus on excess and more more more. They arrive at a mental health facility that is very lavish and promises to take care of their every need. However, so popular is this facility, there is only one bed left. Much like an Ivy League college, this facility will only accept the best of the best insane people. So how do you declare the best of the best? Why, have a competition of course. What ensues is a brightly colored, blatant parody of several things, including American Idol and The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I will tell you this. This film is ambitious, well acted and even well directed. However. The film sucks.

The film loses itself in its own insanity. So much so, that it goes from entertaining absurdism,  to complete boring nonsense. I felt like the film had a point to make, but got so caught up in being nuts, that the point was abandoned being no longer relevant.

What pisses me off, is that there are some really decent performances. Daniel Irizarry is especially great as Dr. Raby, one of the potential patients. And the high level, over the top approach worked for a while, but then it just went too far and became almost unwatchable because it was too random. Even absurdism has a template it operates within. This where the similarities to Rocky Horror lie. Just, incredible, super over the top, gather a crowd and make your own dialogue foolishness.

That really is the film’s only fault. But it is a huge fault. Visually it is quite stunning and pleasing. The humor is more hit than miss. All of the actors are really absorbed into their roles. But, once it unravels, you lose the journey. It’s like an acid trip. You are in the moment, and have no idea what the hell happened 5 minutes ago. I get that this was probably done to simulate insanity for the viewer, but it was not successful.

Ultimately, it is a brave effort and I can say that it is worth a viewing. It is definitely entertaining and better than a lot of indie pics that are out there. Having the attention span of a ferret on crack will probably help.