The Summer of Massacre will arrive on DVD and Blu-Ray on January 10th 2012 via Breaking Glass Pictures. It is 5 stories so bloody; so full of carnage that it is apparently in the Guinness Book of World records for highest body count recorded in a film. I am too lazy to verify that, so, you know, go ahead and Google or Wikipedia that. Whichever one you use to tell you what to believe.

You ever wanted to know what it would be like if Clive Barker took mescaline and then made a film? Joe Castro provides us with a pretty good guess. This film is ultra violent about 98.7% of the time. We have 5 chapters of dizzying images, ear piercing sounds and nonsensical industrial house music, and blood flowing like urine from a pissing contest atop Mt. Everest. I mean if something or someone could bleed, they did, as if their lives depended on it (!).

Chapter 1 is called Rampage. A man  is beaten severely while jogging through a park. A woman finds him still alive and calls the police. He jumps up and slaughters her, splattering blood all over the camera and everything else in the area. He then goes around town on a killing spree like one might go on a shopping spree at the local mall. Heads get squished, flesh gets ripped from bone, pointy objects get inserted in to various orifices. It’s quite a crimson delight, so long as internal organs laying out in the open is your type of thing.

Chapter 2 is is a delightful story about siblings called Lump, which is the nickname of a severely deformed hermaphrodite named Lori. Her sister is quite jealous of the attention she gets and takes her out to the woods with their brother and some friends. Lori’s sister pushes her (she is wheelchair bound) off of a cliff. When Lori doesn’t die, the others start to.

Chapter 3 is called Son of the Boogieman. Pretty straightforward. Years ago, a woman is raped by “the Boogieman” and has a child. Jessie (the son) and his mother have been hiding from him for 36 years. Somehow he has found them, and wants son to be just like father. Anyone that may come across his path is all but liquified.

Chapter 4, called Burn, has some familiar elements to it. Some young Christians sitting around a campfire, discussing a legend of murders that happened 20 years ago. Then guess, what? They get naked, smoke pot, drink beer and die.

The 5th “chapter” is told in between each of the other chapters. Three serial killers tell their stories not only devoid of remorse, but proudly as if earning straight A’s in a mass murder college program. After chapter 4 concludes, their story is also completed in the same style the previous were.

This film has nothing to offer but gallons and gallons of blood and entrails. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but don’t pop this flick in looking for any kind of acceptable acting, original (or even interesting) stories and certainly not gifted writing. It is gore for gore’s sake, and as over the top as it is, it takes itself quite seriously. So, if you want to see a brain ooze out of a skull, this film is just for you. The sad thing is, even the gore is cheesy and not that good looking most of the time.

It was a good choice to make this film in to 5 stories. If it tried to tell one narrative instead, I would have ripped my own flesh off.

George: A Zombie Intervention (or George’s Intervention) comes to us via Breaking Glass Pictures. It’s quite an interesting take on the genre, but poorly executed.

The film opens with an educational film shown to school children. The opening was actually quite clever. It serves as exposition to us, and is meant to teach children the facts about zombies. Zombies have become members of society. So much so that there is a zombie technical support line.  There are spores in the air that humans inhale. The spores lie dormant until the human dies. The spores then wake up and keep the brain functioning thus turning the human into a zombie. Not mindless Romero zombies. Rather, they simply remain their former selves, and are self aware that they are the undead. Unlike your typical film zombies, shooting them in the head does not kill them. It only makes them brain dead which turns them into the standard flesh seeking walkers. They only way to kill a zombie in this universe is to dismember them and burn them.

After the introduction, we see a group of friends having a pre-intervention for their friend George. He has a bit of an addiction problem. Much like you may have seen on television (or perhaps in an actual intervention), the friends are tasked to write down how George’s addiction has affected them. They arrive the next day at George’s home and he is quite resistant. George is a zombie, and he eats people. His friends plead with him to stop but he does not want to. As the group takes a break, people begin to be killed and George tries to eat them. One of George’s friends thinks that they are having a party, so George is constantly interrupted by guests arriving. He throws his victims in the basement to eat later.

This film is purposefully over the top. The gore is excessive and that’s fine. The problem is that there is an obvious attempt to make the film seem realistic at the same time, which places emphasis on its flaws. The performances are quite sub par, especially with the constant eye rolling and face acting.  Right away as the friends arrive at the pre-intervention, they act as if they hate each other. So there was a bit of confusion as to why they are friends since they were all acting like jerks. This eventually changes as Sarah reveals that she likes Ben, and we learn that Steve is just a general dick.

The most bothersome thing in this film is George’s house. It’s like a billion square feet. No one in the house knows where anyone is and can’t hear the constant bludgeoning of guests, even after the loud music is turned off. The house also is apparently self cleaning, as blood seems to disappear from the floor.

There also is some inconsistency as one zombie discovers that he has no pulse and cannot feel pain and therefore must be dead, but in another scene, a zombie complains that being shot hurts.

The film was definitely entertaining, and some of the dialogue was quite humorous. However, most of the time is was poorly written and badly delivered. And not in  a funny, quirky, Army of Darkness type way.

The very end is probably the funniest thing about the film. It is a “commercial” for a zombie rehab clinic and shows zombie supports groups and George eating Tofu Flesh.

The concept of the film is quite clever, and there are definitely some great moments. Very reminiscent of Dead Alive as far as style. I recommend a viewing, but must say that there is a lot to suffer through to get to the enjoyable parts.

So here is the second part of the podcast. We still discuss Ghostbusters for a bit, then we go all over the place, mostly memory lane.  But the funny is still there. Enjoy!

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What a fun podcast this was. We had Scott from 3smov Radio, Kenny from United Front Gaming, and The Dive Mistress from The Avod and Zombots! join us. We originally intended for the podcast to be about all things Ghostbusters. We did a good job sticking to that subject for about an hour. We then spent another hour talking about nostalgia and other random things. Enjoy the part 1 and stay tuned for part 2!

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For our 300th review, we decided to do something different. We chose my favorite comfort movie, Weekend at Bernie’s. It is mentioned all through this blog that I like this film but for some reason we had not reviewed it yet. For this review, however, we recorded a podcast of us watching it. We basically just make fun of it, but we do give it credit when it is due. Enjoy!

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The writer/director of Ghost from the Machine (a film you must see) was nice enough to chat with us for an hour about his excellent film. We also covered the movie making process and other various topics. It was a lot of fun, and we can expect to see more brilliant things from this gifted filmmaker. Enjoy!

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First off, I have never read the graphic novel, so I swear to God, if you negate my review if this film wasn’t faithful to the source material, I will sick Kane Hodder on you.

Scott Pilgrim is 100% pure entertainment. Every fucking thing about it. From the comic booky words that fly on the screen, to the insanely clever script that is basically a group of well constructed lines stacked in order of hilarity that assemble a story. Visually, aurally, intellectually and otherwisely this film is extremely pleasing.  It’s almost guerilla like in its blatant disregard for seamless scene transitions. Which, by the way, is awesome. Pretty much every scene or line is completely unexpected and hilarious. There literally is a laugh about every 1.5 seconds.

I have accused Michael Cera of being repetitive in his characters.  This is the first film in which even though he still employs some of the same traits, I did notice that he does actually distinguish his character from all others.

Also, Kieran Culkin extremely hilarious as his roommate. But, then again, so is every person in this film.

I suppose I should mention the plot. In a nutshell, Scott Pilgrim is in love with Ramona Flowers. She is resistant to his “charms,” but eventually succumbs due to his persistence. However, they both discover that if they are to be together, Scott has to defeat Ramona’s 7 ex boyfriends. What ensues is a film that will delight video game, music, comic book and just anything fans.

I am really serious when I say that there is something to like every single second of this film. Whether it is a funny line, a bright color, a word flying across the screen, I have never seen a film that has stimulated so many different parts of my brain for the entirety of its running time.

I realize that this is a short review, but when you have nothing but positive things to say about a film, brevity is the result. I am probably the last person on Earth to see this, but I’m glad I did.

Ghost from the Machine (or Phasma Ex Machina) is writer/director Matt Osterman’s feature film debut. It had a budget of $25,ooo. If my review doesn’t give you a clue how good the film is, maybe this will: Universal Pictures is remaking it already.

Cody (Sasha Andreev) and his younger brother James (Max Hauser) lost their parents due to a car accident. Cody is riddled with guilt as he blames himself.  He dropped out of college, does not have a job and is living off of the insurance money from the accident. He becomes obsessed with the thought of getting his parents back and spends most of his time and money constructing an electrical device. In a nutshell, Cody basically believes that there is a shortage of a certain type of energy between our world and the other side. He believes that if he can supply this energy there would be no separation and he can then be reunited with his parents. This has caused him to in effect neglect James, whom he is supposed to be taking care of. James spends most of his time wrapped up in first person shooters and causing mischief at school. Because Cody is so obsessed, he has repeatedly caused James to be late to school so often that the Principal questions his ability to be a legal guardian and calls CPS. CPS gives Cody simple instructions: Get James to school on time everyday and he must behave while there. Otherwise, James will be removed from the home. As Cody gets further along with his machine, odd things start to occur in their house as well as in others.

Andreev is excellent as Cody. His Cody is teetering on the edge of madness. His sanity is still harnessed due to his firm belief that what he is doing will work. He gets excited about things that would terrify you and me. He is simply not able to properly supervise his brother and may even see it as a distraction. When threatened with legal action, he makes small attempts to be a guardian but the closer he comes to completion of his device, his obsession overtakes him. Andreev plays this superbly with well delivered dialogue and relaxed realism. I keep using words like “obsession,” and “madness,” which are accurate, but he is not moving at a hundred miles an hour and completely irrational like most caricatures of insane people are. He’s just plagued by guilt and the desire to quell it.

Matthew Feeney turns in a pretty decent performance as Tom, another electronics wizard that gets pulled into the project before he even knows it exists.

This film has no special effects. In fact, there is never any “supernatural” feeling in the film at all. No deformed ghosts scaring the hell out of house cats and children, there are no “hauntings.”  This may not be the first use of this story, but it was refreshing to see it treated in this fashion.

The film felt a little slow for a short while, but once the stranger events start to occur, it becomes clear that this slow pace was necessary. By the end of the film the progression makes sense as a whole. Then you are smacked in the face with the disheartening unhappy ending. The ending may upset some people, but it makes logical sense and evokes the strong emotions felt through the rest of the film already.

This film is seriously impressive. Osterman has shown that he is a great director and writer. I very much await more work from him.

Check out our interview with director Matt Ostermann.

The Coffin, directed by Ekachai Uekrongtham will be released on DVD August 31, via Breaking Glass Pictures. It is based on a Thai ritual. The ritual involves a person who wishes to “cheat death and end bad luck” being sealed in a coffin and a funeral being performed over them. This is done in large groups.  People claim to have gone into a coffin with Cancer and come out only to be given a clean bill of health on their next doctor visit.  Some people believe in it and others believe it is hogwash.

Su (Karen Mok) is a young woman who left Bangkok and Jack, to whom she was going to marry. She hasn’t told anyone that she has lung cancer. She goes to Thailand to be part of a mass funeral. Soon after participating (possibly even on her way home from it as the movie suggests) she is involved in a serious car accident. She escapes with only bruises, but learns that she no longer has cancer. While recuperating, she is given some terrible news and begins to have disturbing visions.

Chris’s (Ananda Evringham) girlfriend is in a coma. He goes in to a coffin with her name written on a piece of paper. While in the coffin he has strange, frightening visions of a woman. He ends up having a seizure and is brought to the hospital where he is revived after his heart had stopped. His girlfriend wakes from her coma and they both start having visions of that same woman.

The film goes back and forth between the two as they struggle with these nightmarish visions and try to figure out how to stop them.

Now, you may have noticed that I used the phrase “cheat death” and suddenly had visions of tires crushing heads or perhaps more lovely images of sweet Emma Bell in another film of late. Let me assure you, this film’s ramifications for cheating death are far less flashy (silly) and over the top. They are terrifyingly psychological. The constant visions and slow, psychological torment these characters went through is much more satisfying than the bizarre, elaborate and sometimes 3D fuckery of The Final Destination Films. That’s because it’s not Death chasing them; it’s Karma. Karma won’t kill you. It will just make you full of regret and make you wish you were dead.

This film is creepy. It is dimly lit and mostly blue, gray and just feels cold all the time. In the beginning it resembled a National Geographic Channel documentary (not necessarily by that previous description, just because of the camera work). The entire film looked very pretty in stark contrast to the events transpiring, which just made it more creepy. There were moments in this film in which I jumped and possibly exclaimed an expletive. Complete out of nowhere scares. Then there were others that were not so clever, but at least they weren’t terrible. It is not often that I am startled during a film, so needless to say, this film had my entire attention.

The direction is excellent, the acting well done. There really isn’t anything not to like about this film. Especially the end. I won’t ruin it, but “lesson learned” is a nice way to put it. This is a great and interesting thriller, check it out.

Rania Ajami’s  Asylum Seekers will arrive on DVD on August 30th. There is really only one way to describe this film: batshit crazy.

The simple synopsis of the film is as follows: 6 people who can be categorized as insane for some reason or another, seek asylum (ha) from the outside world that is ever increasing it’s focus on excess and more more more. They arrive at a mental health facility that is very lavish and promises to take care of their every need. However, so popular is this facility, there is only one bed left. Much like an Ivy League college, this facility will only accept the best of the best insane people. So how do you declare the best of the best? Why, have a competition of course. What ensues is a brightly colored, blatant parody of several things, including American Idol and The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I will tell you this. This film is ambitious, well acted and even well directed. However. The film sucks.

The film loses itself in its own insanity. So much so, that it goes from entertaining absurdism,  to complete boring nonsense. I felt like the film had a point to make, but got so caught up in being nuts, that the point was abandoned being no longer relevant.

What pisses me off, is that there are some really decent performances. Daniel Irizarry is especially great as Dr. Raby, one of the potential patients. And the high level, over the top approach worked for a while, but then it just went too far and became almost unwatchable because it was too random. Even absurdism has a template it operates within. This where the similarities to Rocky Horror lie. Just, incredible, super over the top, gather a crowd and make your own dialogue foolishness.

That really is the film’s only fault. But it is a huge fault. Visually it is quite stunning and pleasing. The humor is more hit than miss. All of the actors are really absorbed into their roles. But, once it unravels, you lose the journey. It’s like an acid trip. You are in the moment, and have no idea what the hell happened 5 minutes ago. I get that this was probably done to simulate insanity for the viewer, but it was not successful.

Ultimately, it is a brave effort and I can say that it is worth a viewing. It is definitely entertaining and better than a lot of indie pics that are out there. Having the attention span of a ferret on crack will probably help.