Archive | puck

Random Movie: Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

Posted on 28 August 2010 by Puck

It would be an understatement to say that Puck does not like spiders. Having a traumatic experience where a probably harmless spider dropped onto my pillow at the tender age of six or so and watching Arachnophobia shortly thereafter, I was terribly afraid of these eight-legged demons sent straight from the depths of hell. Fortunately, old age has calmed my general distaste for these abominations but sadly watching Eight Legged Freaks has resurrected this fear.

It is funny how horror is such a subjective term. On one hand, the thought of a random serial killer lurching out at you in an abandoned mansion or in the middle of the woods is silly because most serial killers are more methodical than that and not to mention I will never be in an abandoned mansion or anywhere outdoors. Spiders on the other hand are real and demonic and as such, this was one of the more horrific movies I have seen in a while. But then again, I am a wuss.

After Piranha 3D opened and relatively underperformed at the box office, I saw many mentions of Eight Legged Freaks and comparing the two films, at least in financial terms. They actually share a great deal of similarities as both films are in the same over-the-top, monster attack movies with a sense of cheesy throwbacks to a previous moviemaking era. Sure, just like Piranha, this is not an Oscar worthy film but what can one expect from a movie called Eight Legged Freaks?

With copious amounts of references to other films, Freaks offers a pretty humorous look at an incident where mutated spiders become the size of station wagons, willing to pluck any ostrich, chain-smoker, or biker without prejudice for sustenance. The humor not only comes from the self-referential qualities as Them! is playing on the Sci-Fi Channel (remember that?) but also from the absurdity of the story. If Scream was a satire of generic slasher movies, Freaks is a companion to many improbable scenario movies where the adults are reluctant to listen, the kids are always right, and most everyone else in the movie is just monster fodder.

The great thing about the movie though is that it is comical enough to not take itself seriously. This movie would have been pretty fucking awful if it were played straight with a tank-sized Tarantula toppling a mobile home. This probably cannot be said seriously too many times but David Arquette’s presence is perfect as he sells the absurdity of the film. His goofy, inept shtick that he carried over from the aforementioned Scream series works quite well here with him as the unlikely hero, the prodigal son, and the resident bad-ass all in one. The rest of the cast here is pretty amazing to be able to deliver such performances against largely CGI man-eating spiders and deliver it seriously but with the hint of a smirk just seconds away.

The film is somewhat by the numbers as the geeky kid Mike is introduced to a myriad of rare and exotic spiders by his creepy older “friend” Josh (an uncredited Tom Noonan) who explains the spiders are growing due to a local toxic waste spill. Unsurprisingly, the biggest name in the film and his parrot become dinner for the spiders who mutate into the hideous beasts featured in the film. But, whereas you might expect the butthead boyfriend, the major-dick mayor, or the dopey deputy to bite it by way of venom, writer/director Ellory Elkayem throws some curveballs at you while still racking up the rampant ruckus as townspeople are mowed down by the above-average arachnids.

Even for a film being 96% comedy, it still managed to throw in some decent scares as the spiders lurk in shadowy places (never turn your back to a tent!) and cocooned bodies fall at the most inopportune times. But, the horror here is more or less a by-product of the story where the comedy really stands out such as a cat being propelled into making a literal impression in drywall or Doug E. Doug playing the resident paranoid conspiracy theorist who believes the spiders are really aliens equipped with anal probes.

Not to mention the film features Kari Wuhrer and a young Scarlett Johansson who reign at the top of the most attractive on-screen mother-daughter combo ever.

Just like Piranha, Eight Legged Freaks is a movie that revels in its absurdity and is not concerned with logic, only with having an enjoyable time.

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Random Movie: Cop Out (2010)

Posted on 20 August 2010 by Puck

Back in February after the release of Cop Out was bombarded with negative reviews from many different critics, director Kevin Smith took to Twitter to explain how reviewers were out of touch with the general movie going populace. His main point (and this is from memory because I am damn sure not going back through all of Smith’s tweets to refresh) was that reviewers did not appreciate the movie for what it was intended to be: a light buddy-cop comedy with throwbacks to its 80s brethen. Less than twenty-four hours after watching a movie that did successfully replicate a lost 80s movie (that would be Piranha, review forthcoming), I can safely say that may have been the intention here but a bad movie got in the way.

Taking the old buddy-cop formula, Cop Out does absolutely nothing else with it. Here we have two partners who are loose cannons, destroy things in downtown New York City, get reprimanded and suspended by their captain, and yet continue to investigate a theft and a drug-smuggling ring outside of their authority. As you can tell by that brief synopsis, there is very little original or defining here that you cannot see in the dozens of other buddy-cop movies. In fairness to Smith, Cop Out is not the warning sign of the apocalypse as some reviews might make it out to be. It has its moments but those are mostly contained in the final act, long after any patience you had has worn thin. The biggest flaw is that for a comedy, there is very little humor that does not revolve around Tracy Morgan acting like a ten-year-old or the Kevin Smith standard of dick and fart jokes.

Even though I rather enjoy Morgan in other projects, he is playing the same exact character as everything else I have seen him in. His shtick of a loud-mouthed, self-involved, aggravating manchild works in short bursts on 30 Rock and SNL sketches but only in moderation. Here we have the bulk of the movie where his character Paul is constantly bickering, whining, or just being inept to the point that I cannot fathom how anyone in production thought he could be sold as a cop, let alone one that is a tenured detective. And if there is anything that Bruce Willis can sell, it should be a gruff, city cop but he looks so damn bored here that I could not even buy that.

Aside from the A-plot about Willis’ character Jimmy’s stolen baseball card as it leads to a Mexican drug cartel, both detectives have problems at home as Paul is insanely jealous and convinced that his wife is cheating on him while Jimmy is desperately trying to pay for his daughter’s wedding with the sale of the aforementioned rare and valuable baseball card. Short of the dubious connection with the card and paying for the wedding, these side stories rarely factor into the larger narrative making things incredibly irritating as the already slow progress of investigating is slammed to a halt while Paul cries like a baby over his wife’s alleged infidelities.

Things would have been better served in the movie if the comedic aspect was downplayed while the action sequences were more pronounced. After all, think of other previous cop films like Die Hard or Lethal Weapon which worked as action films with a hint of facetiousness, not reversed. We know that Smith can do comedy damn well but he just was not on his game here so the only time I was not bored silly was during car chases, foot chases, or gunfights. In fact, all of those scenes had very little dialogue which means that we can place some blame on the pair of writers. But Smith should fire himself from the editing duties after this as even scenes or jokes that are threadbare to begin with are stretched to a painstaking length (which almost any scene with Sean William Scott fits here). The child in the backseat repeating others, Paul wearing a cell phone costume hours after it was necessary, a fake phone conversation to talk shit about two rival detectives, and more scenes all began badly but were drawn out to the point of potential self-inflicted harm.

I tried to go into this movie with an open mind as I have reveled in films designated as crap by others before. However, when I am praying for the movie to come to a quick resolution around the thirty-five minute mark, someone has clearly overestimated the entertainment value of bickering and toilet humor.

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Make This Movie: The Farmville Horror

Posted on 18 August 2010 by Puck

I could have sworn I read about a Farmville movie being planned but now I cannot find anything of it. Yes, Farmville. The flash-based Facebook game in which one manages a virtual farm, tending to crops, animals, and annoying people constantly asking to be neighbors and posting things on your Facebook wall is destined to be a movie at some point.

In fact, I would be shocked if a Farmville movie does not get made but if one does, we can assume it would follow in the tone of the game, innocent and annoying. However, I see a great potential to make a movie, backed by the Farmville popularity, yet twisted and horrifying. I would like the basic plot to go something like this.

  • City boy moves to the country to look after a farm, preferrably one previously tended by a creepy member of his extended family
  • Said farm has magical properties in which crops grow in less than a day
  • A little black cat wanders onto the farm, cursing the new caretaker
  • Strange folks nearby start turning up with random gifts of nails and bricks, wanting a piece of the magical property
  • When the city boy refuses, things turn deadly

Throw in a little torture and unexplained happenings and we have a decent movie going! Far better than one more closely based on the game I would argue. Hell, maybe this is the one video game movie Uwe Boll couldn’t fuck up! He probably still would though.

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Theater Scum: Piranha > Vampires

Posted on 18 August 2010 by Puck

I seem to recall in days past that the end of summer was a dumping ground of cinematic refuse but it appears that August is the month of choice for many films that may or may not be worth a damn.

Piranha 3D

Of course, if Piranha fails to deliver, Puck will be a very foul man for the following days. I do not worry about this happening though. After all, how could a movie which casts Elisabeth Shue, Ving Rhames, Eli Roth, Christopher Lloyd, and Richard Dreyfuss under the control of High Tension director Alexandre Aja about prehistoric man-eating fish be bad? My feeble mind cannot comprehend such an absurd notion for the movie that is destined to be my first feature length experience in an additional dimension. Bring it on, midnight showing!

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Vampires Suck

On the complete opposite end of the viewing pleasure spectrum is this piece of trash from the talentless hacks involved in Scary Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, and Superhero Movie Meet the Spartans. As it opened today, there have been numerous reviews published already and the majority of which I can almost guarantee are funnier than anything in the movie itself. Thus far, the film is at a big fat 0% on Rotten Tomatoes but that is only with ten reviews so I’m sure some jackass will mess it up and give it a positive review because he hates the world.

In fact, I defy you to watch the attached trailer and argue there is one legitimately funny line in it (okay, the Black Eyed Peas one doesn’t count). As suspect as I am over the benefits of a toothless vampire series like Twilight, I promise no good can come from these two fuckheads continuing to make movies (see Stan Helsing for further evidence).

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Also opening this week:

The Switch
(Sigh) Another romantic comedy with Jennifer Aniston? Sigh. I see that Jason Bateman is in it but I am really going to need him to be more discriminating in acting choices.

Lottery Ticket
Having seen the trailer in front of Inception (twice), this actually look pretty funny. Not Tyler Perry funny but real funny as it reminded me of Friday, not its Chris Tucker-less sequels though.

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Random Movie: The Prestige (2006)

Posted on 16 August 2010 by Puck

Here we are at one hundred reviews on Movie Scum and I thought it fitting for the honor to go to a Christopher Nolan film. Don’t like Christopher Nolan? Go away now. Anyway, we may actually be over that number due to dual reviews and other posts that may have been mislabeled but it is the thought that counts. And what a film to be at such a milestone as just like every other Nolan film I have watched, The Prestige is expertly put together and a thought provoking tale that demand multiple viewings to get a sense of the care taken in creating the story.

As it stands currently on IMDB’s Top 250 at #72, Prestige is a movie far better than I would have expected the story to allow. Based on the novel of the same name by Christopher Priest, the script is adapted by Christopher and his frequent collaborator, brother Jonathan Nolan and features many traits common to other Nolan films, most notably the lack of linear storytelling. I have found that normally filmmakers use an abnormal structure to hide deficiencies of the story but all of the films by Nolan that I have seen (which is all but Insomnia) use this technique as a way to enhance the story. The underlying narrative deals with two magicians, who previously had a cautious friendship, in their constant endeavors to outdo each other with their illusions in 20th century England.

After a trick goes bad, Angier (played by Hugh Jackman) blames the death of his wife on Borden (Christian Bale) who tied a knot she was unable to slip in an underwater escape on display. Her death acts as a catalyst for Angier, who is full of rage and willing to stop at nothing but to destroy the relatively happy life Borden lives with his wife and daughter. When Borden develops a groundbreaking trick not based on handkerchief-swapping or bird-vanishing, Angier is determined to find out the secret of Borden’s ability to throw a ball on one side of the stage, step into a box, and come out on the other side to catch it in time. As most magic appears to have at least a passing element of misdirection (at least based on those Magic Exposed! TV programs), Angier is unwilling to accept a simple explanation and sets out on a journey across the ocean to discover the truth.

Even with its high ranking on IMDb and Rotten Tomatoes, you do not have to look hard to find a negative review of the film, even by Roger Ebert. Much like Angier, it seems that some critics disliked the film as they were searching for an extraordinary explanation to the film when the simplest answer fits the best. It seems almost foolish to watch into a Nolan movie with the expectation that the next thing to come is easily predictable. Although I must say that even I had figured out the ending just after the halfway point but dismissed it as too obvious. The beauty here is that the too obvious explanation is also the one you do not expect, especially after that too obvious explanation is further complicated and expanded upon. If this does not make sense, it shouldn’t until you have seen the movie.

The non-traditional narrative structure also works here as the best portions of the film are of the two leads trying to uncover each others’ secrets through their diaries. The bifurcation of the story leaves more to be unknown by the two men of each other and their secrets longer as compared to how it would have unfolded in a conventional tale. Much like Inception, certain shots and sequences are shown and then quickly passed along resulting in a sense of confusion and lingering until you gain the necessary context. And just like Memento was enhanced by its narrative, the random and seemingly unrelated shots and scenes in Prestige converge which only add to the misdirection undoubtedly intended by the filmmaker. Not to mention the same misdirection that sets us up to hate one of the characters from the first few frames is able to instantly turn the tables and make the evil doer the sympathetic of the two as another of the Nolan-trademarked themes (other than guilt and dead wives) of moral ambiguity is exhibited. I think others who do not like the movie were simply upset because it was not as complicated as they hoped it would be.

I really should not have to say much about the cast as (other than some stray accents here and there) everyone pulls off their roles superbly. Jackman and Bale each act as a foil to each other with Angier being the fancy-looking performer with minimal talent in illusions while Borden has the skills but lacks in the presentation department. Each actor portrays love and guilt with the underlying sense of childishness which drives the film and the competition between the two. Michael Caine is spectacular as always (Jaws The Revenge notwithstanding) as the sage manager with an answer to everything who is at times duped as much as the audience. Piper Perabo and Rebecca Hall play the magicians’ wives both with a sense of heartbreak (for differing reasons though). It even features David Bowie as Nikola Tesla, the enigmatic inventor who helps Angier get the upper-hand on Borden (well, sort of.)

The only main issue I really had with the film was that of the underlying story. As I said before, I did not have an expectation that The Prestige would be all that entertaining due to the period setting and the focus of illusions (two things that I have less than a fleeting interest in) but I knew if anyone could do it, Chris Nolan could. However, at the core, this movie is not quite as satisfying as Inception or Dark Knight as the story itself is built around lies and fabrications with the main goal to beat another man at an endless game through deception. While it is not quite as noble as defending a populace against a madman or coming to terms with the loss of a loved one, the ending does feature a heart-warming reunion between a father and child so it is not all dark and gloomy (is this another future Nolan theme in the making?).

So even though things end up a bit more pessimistic than I would have preferred, The Prestige is another Nolan masterpiece with all of the same elements that make you love the rest of his movies.

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Random Movie: Grace (2009)

Posted on 14 August 2010 by Puck

**THIS REVIEW MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS**

If watching Inside can be expressly cautioned for pregnant women and generally squeamish people, Grace is the natural extension of that film putting to film the notion that I am sure all new mothers wonder: “What if my baby is really a bloodsucking demon/zombie child?”

Directed by Paul Solet, Grace is a feature length version of his short of the same name and concept starring Brian Austin Green and Liza Weil as soon-to-be new parents Jimmy and Madeline. Sadly Jimmy (well, Michael in the full-length) dies in a car accident which also leaves Madeline badly hurt and the baby dead as well. Some either miraculous or creepy event happens after Madeline carries the deceased child to term but it comes back to life as she attempts to breastfeed it. She then shuts herself in with no one but her midwife Patricia to turn to when Grace starts taking a liking to Mommy’s blood rather than the breastmilk.

Even though I had not seen the short film (but who wouldn’t with BAG in it??) or read too terribly much about the film, I was aware of the basis for the plot thus it is kind of a spoiler but not really. I mean, you probably can take a really good guess from the poster alone. Really even though Grace is the driving force in the movie, it hinges on the lengths that Madeline, a vegan mother who preferred to spend her days watching the dead animal carcass channel, will go to to ensure the “health” of her child. Seeing as how the bulk of the story seems to take place in the course of just a few months after the birth, this is not as much a killer kid movie as it is a look at denial and delusions and what some people will do for their children.

Madeline is played here by Jordan Ladd and was a strong choice for the character as she and her actions take up a bulk of the film. Some of the strongest performances come in the weeks after Grace’s birth where Madeline is not only depressed over the loss of her husband and worn out from attending to the needs of a newborn but also joyous for the miracle baby. In many instances, these emotions are present and overlapping as one might expect a woman in her situation would have. Even as Madeline discovers Grace’s hunger and begins to sacrifice her health for the baby, she begins to waste away like a malnourished child in a third-world country. Madeline’s mother-in-law played by Gabrielle Rose is overbearing and likely just as deranged (in a less homicidal way) as a post-menopausal woman who still expresses breast milk with a pump hidden in her son’s former room. She poses a menacing presence to Grace’s secret as she is constantly pestering Madeline and sending people to check on her and the baby.

For a movie that was expanded from a six minute short, it does not feel padded as the pacing is brisk and the movie clocks in at less than an hour and a half. One element that seemed either thrust into the original story or one that was not expanded past what was in the original short was of Patricia, the midwife played by Samantha Ferris. She is in a great deal of the first act of the film but is conspicuously absent not long after the birth, dodging Madeline’s phone calls yet acting all stalker-y sitting outside the house. A love affair the two women had is fleetingly mentioned and then not paid off until the end of the film. I certainly would have preferred to see Patricia involved in the task of handling Grace throughout the movie as opposed to just appearing moments before the ending scene. One thing that I did like was the uncertainty about Grace and if she was really alive or if everything was in Madeline’s mind. The ambiguity is ushered by flies constantly gathering around Grace, phantom stinky smells with no corresponding baby output, and no one interacting with her other than Madeline. Some may point to the doctor’s visit as evidence that Grace is really alive as he hears sounds that she makes but I would even chalk that up to the fact that Madeline was crazy as fuck and could have a tape recording playing to help her delusions. Maybe at the end even Patricia is in on it. Who knows?

Grace was a good movie as even without a large amount of deaths it had some gore but mostly an unnerving message. There may be a dig in there at veganism as a non-meat-eating mother will go to the ends of the earth to destroy humans to feed her child but even without the social subtext it is quite disturbing. This is almost a perfect compliment to Inside, this time complete with a cameo by producer Adam Green. Just make sure to get your jollies on after seeing it.

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Theater Scum: The Other Guys Step Up

Posted on 04 August 2010 by Puck

The Other Guys

This appears to be the type of movie that Cop Out failed to be. We have two badass police officers, Nick Fury and Riddick, who bust crime like they score women … easily. But for some reason (and I’m better there is a tragic accident or suspension involved), Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg are tasked to take on heavy-hitting police work with no regard to their apparent lack of either experience or intellect.

I will say this movie holds a great amount of promise to it. From previous experience, Will Ferrell can’t do much wrong with Adam McKay in the director’s seat (I haven’t seen Step Brothers though). Wahlberg is also pretty decent in a comedic role (see 1998’s The Big Hit) and it even has Michael Keaton as the captain! How could this not be hilarious?


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Step Up 3D

You know, it really doesn’t baffle me how this movie was made. The original Step Up made approximately four times its budget in theaters if I can calculate correctly (that is fuzzy math at best). But the second film did not do as well and cost as much money. Here we are on the cusp of a 3D overload as shit is being rammed down our throats in another dimension so I cannot fault the logic to release a fucking movie about DANCING in 3D.

Okay, yes I can. There is no saving grace here. There is no silver lining. It has been called one of the worst fucking movies ever by a fan of the original. Notice how in the trailer the director is touted as if he had made something other than Step Up 2: The Streets (ha, clever) and other never-heard-of music-based movies? Why can we not have a Piranha 3D vs. Step Up 3D mashup? Those fish would win in a fucking heartbeat. And I would cheer them on.

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Random Movie: Below (2002)

Posted on 30 July 2010 by Puck

I feel that for some reason, Below has been under the radar (cute, right?) for many years since its theatrical release. I seem to recall seeing the DVD turning up at any one of my DVD acquisition attempts at Best Buy but the vagueness of the poster, the boringness of the title, and somewhat lack of A-list stars have painted the picture as just another of Dimension’s direct-to-DVD abominations, even though with co-writer Darren Aronofsky on board it has a much grander pedigree than those films that suffer similar fates.

As we meet the crew of the USS Tiger Shark, a submarine in the Atlantic during World War II, they are given orders to rescue three members of a British hospital ship even though this will take them off course. From the start, we can sense things are a bit off with the men on board, especially moreso after the introduction of a woman, Claire Page, one of the survivors they rescued. The first portion of the film plays out like any other WWII submarine movie I have seen called U571 to the point that there are mechanical troubles, enemy ships in the area, and depth charges that shake the camera and tousle the crew like nothing else.

We then learn why things are a bit strange on the boat as the acting skipper Brice tells Claire the story of how the original captain tragically died while trying to retrieve debris for a souvenir while topside. Emphasis on story. As the sub continues to be inexplicably chased by a German destroyer (I have no idea if that’s the right term but whatever), strange occurrences start happening on board as random record players go off at the worst times possible, bangs on the hull spelling out B-A-C-K in morse code, more mechanical failures, and disembodied voices are heard. They way things are presented in the film, this could either be a ghost, a saboteur, hallucinations due to high hydrogen levels, or just shitty luck for those on board.

This film is really broken down into several different elements vying for screen time between straightforward WWII sub actions, a haunting, a (possible) vengeful spirit, and paranoia. This is pretty ambitious stuff for what we can assume was a relatively low-budget affair as it premiered on less than 400 screens to bring in a total of $600 thousand at the box office. The problem is, while there are strong points to each of the above components, they way they are intertwined here leads to a bunch of things that do not make sense for the production. One thing I do not understand was the purpose of setting this up as a period piece during WWII because as I can tell, there was not too much effort into selling it as a different time period other than mentions of Nazi Germany and antiquated machinery. This may be true even for U571 as it has been quite a while since I have seen that, but none of the dialogue or mannerisms or character attributes differentiated this movie from present day times. I cannot claim to be close to an expert on what dialogue in the 1940s would have sounded like but I am pretty sure it would not sound exactly the same as today. Really, I cannot see any discernible reason for this movie to be set during WWII as I could buy all of the action and occurrences if it took place on a modern-day sub in a fictitious sea battle being waged.

I feel if the film had a bit more focus, it could have been better but the battling story elements cause a really weird shift in tone during many of the scenes. It’s strongest suit is as a horror movie, which is primarily the backbone of the story in spite of everything else (confusingly though it is listed as a rather generic “thriller” under genre on Netflix). While there is a reliance on jump-scares and people appearing out of nowhere, many sequences have a delightful tension as apparitions appear quickly and investigations take place with the pale glow of a flashlight in a long, spooky hallway. Even some of the other parts with the constant unraveling of the story behind the dead captain are entertaining enough to play along with and try to guess the outcome which is in hindsight rather obvious but not in the moment.

Cast wise, there is nothing especially bad here but not much to make a mark otherwise. The movie is populated with “that guy” actors who you recognize but maybe cannot place. And also inexplicably Zach Galifianakis is in it. I swear Bruce Greenwood plays every character the same regardless of dirtbag husband or President of the United States, as he has the same sort of almost charmingly but sleazy feel to him. Olivia Williams is good as the British nurse who incites most of the inquiry (she was the wife in Sixth Sense in case anyone else wonders). Scott Foley and Matthew Davis turn in largely similar roles to earlier films as Scream 3 and Urban Legends 2 respectively. The best was probably Holt McCallany, who I recognized from Fight Club, as the hardass on board mostly because he gets the creepiest scene in the movie and the best freakout.

There are parts of the movie that I really liked and parts that seemed to be standard fare from a variety of other movies from the various genres I have mentioned but the movie as a whole is somewhat lacking sadly. Perhaps I should have expected less from the man responsible for launching Vin Diesel’s career.

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Discussion: What Movie Will You Never Watch Again?

Posted on 28 July 2010 by Puck

As much as it behooves me, I am not vehemently opposed to watching any particular movie. Are there certain movies that I would rather detach my own toenails rather than watch initially? Of course.

But while watching The Nostalgia Critic’s take on Batman & Robin, I was reminded of how much hatred I have for this film despite watching it only once more than ten years ago during its initial theatrical run. I can safely say, Batman & Robin is a movie I have no intentions of ever seeing again. I cannot imagine any amount of pleasure I would derive from such an act even if it were to lead to a profanity-laced review of Stan Helsing proportions.

A few months ago, I was discussing with Digger (remember him?) the merits of a bad movie. Some movies are so bad they make you angry. Some are so bad they make you laugh. Some are just bad and you don’t really give a shit. I can’t say where Batman & Robin falls into those categories but I can say I don’t want to try to find out.

Bad movies are an interesting subset of film. I have seen The Happening three times now but I refuse to ever watch Mannequin: On the Move again. I considered rewatching Battlefield Earth for a laughably bad good time but The Skulls has been forever banished from my playlist. Hell, if the mood strikes right and any are available online or on TV, I might even sit down and watch a Police Academy sequel or three. Now, don’t get me wrong, all of the above listed are absolute fucking garbage contributions to the world at large. But as with any movie, there is a certain rewatchability quotient and bad movies can be just like any other whether that be for laughs, groans, or something in the middle. Or maybe I’m just stupidly insane to consider watching Battlefield Earth again.

Regardless, what movies have you dedicated your life to never, ever, watching again?

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Theater Scum: Dinner for Charlie St. Cloud

Posted on 27 July 2010 by Puck

Charlie St. Cloud

Oh great. A Zac Efron starring movie that has a normal young adult male struggling with the difficulties of romance, growing up, and … conversing with his dead brother? What the hell kind of movie is this?

The trailer had me up until the introduction of the romance angle which makes it look like a Nicholas Sparks book with a guilty conscious/afterlife angle which totally jettisons any interest I might have had. The obligatory Snow Patrol song doesn’t help either.


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Dinner For Schmucks

Before Toy Story 3, I saw a different trailer for this than the one below and I wasn’t too thrilled. I can’t really explain why. The pedigree of this movie is quite impressive with Paul Rudd, Steve Carrell, Zach Galifianakis, and even Peter Gibbons himself turning in roles. Jay Roach as director is pretty hit or miss (or abysmal fail as with Goldmember) but things look fun and jovial.

Will this movie be this year’s Hangover or yet another “comedy” that fails to deliver on anything other than the slight amusement as seen in the preview? Only time will tell.

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