At this point, the Paranormal Activity series is almost critic-proof since it is dirt-cheap to produce, brings in fists full of dollars and is generally well-received by audiences. With the departure of the Saw franchise last year, October needed another big, R-rated series to take its place to win over the hard earned cash of horror-loving moviegoers. I said in the review of PA2: “It is pretty safe to say that if you liked the first PA, you will probably like this one too.” Amend that to say the first two PA films and you have my excerpt for this film. That isn’t a bad thing … unless you really hated the preceding films.

The formula for these stories are pretty simple: a family experiences some traumatic experience leading to the dominant male of the household placing a camera, or cameras, around the house to document something or another. This film sets up the loving family of Julie, mother of Katie and Kristi, and her boyfriend Dennis who conveniently is a wedding photographer, thus having access to multiple cameras and a seemingly endless supply of VHS tapes. Katie and Kristi’s father is out of the picture but the four have a pretty good relationship especially between Dennis and the kids. An earthquake interrupts Julie and Dennis’ very tame sex tape and Dennis maybe sees something weird when reviewing the tape.

Thus Dennis does what any sensible man does and convinces his girlfriend to set up three cameras in the house, one in their bedroom, one in the kids’ and one affixed to an oscillating fan base in the living room/kitchen. The first few nights aren’t too eventful (at least those that we see) mostly consisting of Kristi running around the house and talking to Toby, her imaginary friend at 4 AM. It isn’t long though before more odd things start occurring especially surrounding the babysitter and Dennis’ friend Randy who only show up for weird shit to happen to them.

Once you get past the inevitable “Why is this dude lugging around an 8 pound camera everywhere he goes?” puzzlement, PA3 offers a lot more freaky and some downright scary occurrences. There aren’t too many jump scares this time around but many scenes that are almost unbearably tense especially around the girls. While the movie reminds us that Katie and Kristi are alive almost twenty years later, previous films have explained that they have little recollection of their childhood … and I can probably see why. That takes some of the potential bite out of the scares around the two but with the other adults around, directors Ariel Schulman and Henry Joost (from Catfish fame) have plenty of tension to work with and they do so remarkably well.

I appreciated that this go-around did not take as long to get to the meat-and-potatoes of the story as the last, or at least it didn’t feel as long due to the underlying creepiness or the decent characters. And even though there was a lot (and I mean A LOT) of stuff shown in trailers that didn’t make the final cut, you never really get the sense that this is a film cobbled together at the last minute even though it kind of is. The prequel nature of it with the same elements we’ve seen before makes the story a tad more unbelievable (ghosts/demons attacking the same two girls, yet another budding videographer in the house, etc.) but not to any real detriment of your enjoyment.

Like I said in the review of the last one, I have no idea where the story can go from here, especially since it seems to hinge on strange events of these two girls. But if this one is any indication, with the right combination of talented directors and writers, we could be seeing Paranormal Activity 13 come 2021. As long as they keep churning out films that give me chills after the fact, I’ll keep watching them.

In the world of slasher sequels, Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers is still pretty highly regarded. It doesn’t come close to the original but that’s not surprising especially after the previous sequels in the franchise. Part II was apparently made to up the gore and body count that the first was sorely not lacking. The all-around awful part III was apparently created to kill the Halloween name altogether. Fortunately it did not succeed because then Danielle Harris would not be who she is today (for better or worse) and we would be denied arguably the best sequel in this quite uneven franchise.

After the success of the first two films, it’s obvious that Jamie Lee Curtis would be pretty hard to get back into the genre saddle again. Since writer Alan B. McElroy realized the importance of family from the first two (we haven’t yet reached Resurrection at least), the story was shifted from Laurie to Laurie’s daughter Jamie (Harris). While one of the cardinal rules of horror films states that a kid cannot die, McElroy and director Dwight Little get their merit badge in trying their best as poor 7-year-old Jamie is in danger from almost her first frame. Fortunately, there are plenty of more disposable characters to off as Michael miraculously awakes from a decade-long coma to stalk the young child. As this is a proper Halloween film, Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasence) is back on the case as he hunts Michael in his marginal screentime.

The biggest reason that this film works while others in the series fail is that it does not have a seemingly deep hatred for the first. I’d imagine that most directors do not wish to work on a film solely to pay respect to a previous entry but when the alternative contains contempt for just about everything that made it great (see parts 5 and 7 for more), this is not a bad direction. Starting from the opening scene where a team of Myers-fodder is attempting to transfer him from one nuthouse to another, this installment is filled with little callbacks to the original that seem to escape the rest: Rachel (Ellie Cornell) mentions to Jamie that Laurie used to babysit her, Rachel’s friend is named Lindsey who could very well be the pig-tailed brunette from the first, etc. It even one-ups the original in that this portrayal of Haddonfield actually feels like a midwestern town in the throes of fall as opposed to Southern California with some colored leaves strewn here and there.

Most of all, this film jettisons the cardboard cutouts from the second and replaces them with real characters. The dynamic between Jamie and Rachel as foster sisters starts rather frosty but ends with Rachel risking life and limb for Jamie. The love angle between Rachel and Brady is a bit trite but it is not front and center, existing only as a moderate time filler. Hell, I’d wager the drunken rednecks are more richly developed characters compared to just about anyone in part 2. And even though this is taking place a decade later, most of the characters are not stupid enough to have to be brought up to speed about Myers and his reign of terror many moons ago. In fact, even though the security guard is saddled with some clunky exposition at the start, I appreciate that the filmmakers knew that all we’d need is a quick twenty seconds or so to explain how we got where we are. It doesn’t quite explain how Loomis escaped the fiery inferno with minor scarring and a limp, but whatever.

While it did have a few questionable moments of common sense (a trained deputy does not notice a stowaway in his backseat?) and horror movie sense (don’t go near the guy who has spent 80 minutes trying to kill you!), there is nothing here that is so dumb or out of place that distracts from the story. Even having watching this movie countless times, there are many sequences that still make me jump or put me on edge and that is one of the highest praises I can levy at a horror film. The shots are worthwhile and the chase scenes are still thrilling and you can’t help but think what the entire Halloween franchise would have been if this level of commitment was present throughout.

Largely thanks to John Carpenter‘s original Halloween, the 80s were chock full of slasher flicks taking place everywhere from summer camps to sorority houses and everywhere in between with a collection of mostly bland, forgettable murderers. Everyone seems to remember this era fondly even though the sad reality dictates that most of these films are pretty bad with a few notable exceptions sticking out here and there. With the title, heroine, and villain notwithstanding, Halloween II would be more of the former than the latter.

In fairness, from the opening scene (largely cribbed from the end of the first), the film tips its hand and foreshadows what to expect: some excellence surrounded by cheap and lazy writing. Loomis’ magic seven bullet pistol and Myers’ leisurely stroll backwards up an obvious ramp cement that this is nowhere as thoughtfully planned or executed as the original. Returning writers Carpenter and Debra Hill take the interesting route of continuing this installment right after the conclusion of the last after Myers’ has escaped the nuthouse, killed a bunch of kids and adults (and a dog), and tried fruitlessly to off Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis).

Perhaps as a way of multiplying the low body count that no one complained of from the original, Laurie is taken to Haddonfield Memorial Hospital, otherwise known as the medicinal equivalent of Police Academy … or the malpractice warehouse. Doctors come in drunk, nurses show up late and disappear to fornicate in patients’ rooms or in a hottub, security guards are fat and clueless, and with the rest of incompetent boobs, all we’re missing is a Tackleberry character to complete the likeness. So of course Michael slips in under the watchful eye of no one and prowls around the abandoned corridors like a lost trick-r-treater.

I really dislike spending most of a review comparing a film to its far more successful forerunner but that is hard in horror films in general, especially here since it is so closely tied together with the preceding film. Yet, the most damning thing I think of against this film is that the writers and director Rick Rosenthal seemed to go out of their way to avoid carrying over anything great into this film. All of the new characters are merely set dressing waiting for their inevitable strangulation or scalpel in the back and due to their number, there is no reason to care for any of them. Bud can be easily identified as the crude, horny guy, Janet as the ditzy girl, Karen as the negligent nurse … it goes on and on. Only Jimmy (Lance Guest) has any deeper characterizations but even he is largely disposable.

Even though he didn’t have a huge part in the first, Donald Pleasence returning as Loomis feels like he is merely on a loop from the first film since he goes on the same rambling tirades about evil and death and Michael’s pleasant stay at Smith’s Grove but they are nowhere as entertaining this time around. And it’s questionable that Loomis, the man who watched over and studied Michael for a decade and a half didn’t even think to keep tabs on Laurie who Michael was clearly gunning for at the end of the last until he finds out that Michael and Laurie are related. Granted, Loomis didn’t know this early on but he was one step ahead of Michael the first go around. Now he’s desperately trying to catch up.

For all the quizzical choices made in the first two-thirds though, the final act thankfully ratchets things up as Michael finally stops dicking around and goes after Laurie. It is these last twenty minutes or so that make the film worthwhile as Michael pursues his sister through the bowels of the hospital. While the pursuit isn’t quite as tense as before, it does the job superbly helped by the cheesy synth music by Carpenter and now accompanied by Alan Howarth that actually fits well. Even though the ending isn’t as final as we would believe from this film, it does have a feeling of closure as Laurie once again escapes the throes of death while everyone else … well, doesn’t.

I am almost ashamed of myself from fifteen years ago for liking this more than the original. Sure, the body count is higher, there is more blood and gore than before, and even more classic horror elements like spring-loaded cats but the originality and heart of the first is sorely missing.

I know. I’ve already reviewed Scream 4 once before. It was hardly an impartial review though since it had been eleven years since the premiere of the preceding movie and it was not too thorough since I banged it out after a midnight showing opening day before going to work. But, since it was just released on DVD and Blu-ray this week, why not take another look?

Beginning with a dizzying number of “opening” sequences, Scream 4 sets the action back in Woodsboro as Sidney (Neve Campbell) has returned on a book signing tour and reunited with Dewey (David Arquette) and Gale (Courteney Cox) who are now married. Dewey is now the Sheriff, Gale is retired from reporting and unsuccessfully trying to write a fiction novel, and Sidney is the proverbial black cat who is constantly followed by death and despair. The mayhem starts up again as Sidney’s cousin Jill (Emma Roberts) and her friend Kirby (Hayden Panettiere) watch as their neighbor is savagely (and I mean savagely!) butchered by Ghostface which kicks in the old plot formula of a who-dun-it mystery combined with unnaturally loquacious teenagers and references to other horror films.

Even though the film was allegedly plagued with rewrites, reshoots, and typical Weinstein fuckery, the finished product that launched in theaters is pretty satisfying. It was announced as a reboot/remake/sequel hybrid which sounded pretty dumb at the time but started to flesh out as the cast was announced with the returning trio of Arquette, Campbell, and Cox and a host of other new characters. The main issue with the film (similar to the last two actually) is that there are too many damn people to keep track of. At this point, we are pretty safe to assume that the killers are not Sidney, Dewey, or Gale so thus every other actor is saddled with questionable lines and sketchy motives to make them seem like the killer. The reason the first worked so well (aside from the fact that it was the first) is that the potential psycho-list was not as long as my arm. You certainly cannot fault the film for a low bodycount though if you are into that.

If anything, returning writer (or writers) Kevin Williamson is able to tap into a good amount of the self-referential and self-awareness of the first film. Woodsboro’s current crop of teens are the gang from the first hopped up on Redbull with unfettered access to the internet to pirate all seven Stab films or whatever the hell kids do these days. Scream: The Next Generation would have been a fine movie on its own. Jill takes the victim torch from Sidney, she has a creepy-ish boyfriend like Billy, and instead of one, we have three Randy-esque characters in this movie. It is the somewhat awkward merging of the old and new classes that brings the film down since there really is no time to focus on anyone for fear of neglecting someone else.

Wes Craven tried to do his best with the film since it seems a bit more on point than part 3 but no where close to the excellence he brought to Scream 2. After enough horror films in general (and of a particular franchise to boot), it is easy to get lazy with the “scares” but there were a few effective ones here and there. The thing I will curse Craven and Williamson (and whoever else wrote the thing) for is their penchant for playing it too safe. There was one scene that almost tried to be as shocking as Randy’s demise in 2 but whoever is responsible didn’t have the cajones to kill off one of the main three. Going into the film, it’s a safe bet that if the character has not been in a previous Scream film, they are as good as dead. It would have been refreshing to have some more uncertainty about the old-school cast even though what the “typical” audience wants is a boring, happy ending.

The most aggravating thing about Scream 4 are the numerous scenes cut from the final picture. Most deleted scenes are taken out for a reason but here are tighter chase scenes, more character development, and backstory that are severely missed in the regular release. Sure, the extra scenes with the sadly wasted Mary McDonnell or more stuff with Kirby (my favorite new character) would have extended the run-time but there was plenty of material that didn’t work to start with. A commentary comes on the Blu-ray with Craven, Roberts, and Panettiere (and Campbell for a brief time) but it is nowhere near as in depth or thoughtful as some of those from the previous films.

The painful thing about Scream 4 is that everyone (cast and crew included) tried hard to make a decent follow-up but only succeeded in reminding the audience how special and awesome the original is. If the series were to continue, it needs to be around some different characters in a similar storyline lest it continue to fall in the shadow of its predecessor.

I will admit that I did not have entirely good expectations going into this one. Our own #pbf referred to this as garbage, and he has not seen THE third film in this series. I had seen a few positive reviews for THE Final Destination though so I figured maybe it was an acquired taste, much like Mountain Dew: Live Wire. Oh, dear God was I wrong. So, so wrong … I knew in THE first ten minutes of this film that it would be given THE “honorable” crap category. THE other seventy minutes were merely confirmation that I can judge a stupid movie by its even stupider fucking cover.

At this point in THE series, Final Destination has merely transformed into a Mad Libs for “horror” films. ________ (Proper Noun) has a vision of ________ (horrible event) before it happens. He/She manages to extract ________ (number) people from THE disaster before it happens. ________ (Proper Noun that rhymes with Seth) comes after them all in ridiculously over-THE-top ways. Roll credits. It is bad enough when there is no shock or surprise in a movie. It is another when that movie seems to exist solely to show you how much THE human race sucks.

I must formally apologize to James Wong and Glen Morgan for criticizing FD3. After all, they created characters as deep as the ocean floor compared to this movie. I honestly cannot remember any of the character’s names, not because I didn’t hear them enough, but I just did not give a damn. I liked that the first film took a while to get the to big disaster. The second and third films were not as in depth but it was still grounding to see our characters in normal life before (Proper Noun that rhymes with Seth) comes knocking at their door. This movie though has the big foreseen disaster before the opening credits! What the ________ (Word that rhymes with duck)!

Considering that this was the shortest film in the series thus far, with probably as many kills mind you, regular movie goers likely thought they were in for a treat when Death’s vengeance came roaring back again and again with little time between. Since I’ve suffered through all of these movies in three days (for you, dammit!), I felt like I was watching a Faces of Death video with mindless, stupidly staged kills back-to-back-to-back. It’s bad enough that a few of the deaths were recycled from the earlier movies but the fact that everything was so rapid leaves no time or reason to contemplate on what has just happened. Literally, one character is mowed-over by a vehicle and the other character in the scene simply turns around and moves on. Compare that to Terri in the original when she was hit by a bus out of nowhere that I was floored by. No time for such nonsense here.

I would assume that this moderately budgeted movie had to trim some fat to make up for the spectacular 3D graphics. Of course, I watched this on DVD on my regular folk TV so the 3D was nonexistent. The main character’s visions of the upcoming deaths though were rendered in fantastic graphics that I have not seen since the age of PSOne. Literally, a snake or nail or whatever coming at your face looks just as real as Final Fantasy 7. Since the effects were so pricey, gone are any decent, or even marginal, actors. Instead, we get a bunch of nice-looking 20-somethings who couldn’t act their way out of an iCarly lunchbox. But, their role is merely to die in horrible, yet laudable, ways so perhaps that is what the filmmakers were going for.

Yet, I cannot believe that David R. Ellis, director of the comparably Shakespearean FD2, would sign on to such crap. Every man needs a meal ticket and I guess this was his. I am fully willing to accept a horror movie with shit actors, shit characters, and shit effects. But I was not quite expecting that from this admittedly mediocre series as it plays like the straight-to-video version of a Final Destination sequel, complete with one (1!) reputable actor in Mykelti Williamson. There is absolutely nothing redeeming about this film.

It’s not apparent during the first viewing of Final Destination 3, but there is something missing which greatly strips out a lot of enjoyment compared to the previous films. Well, of course, there are plenty of graphic deaths and gore so that is present and accounted for. There is a skimpy callback to the first film, so nothing out of place there. And even Tony Todd returns, in voice at least. So what is it that the returning team of Glen Morgan and James Wong forgot in this installment? Where should we start?

I wonder if Morgan and Wong approached this as a semi-remake of the first film. We start with a bit of bonding time between control-freak Wendy (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), her boyfriend (inconsequential actor), his friend Kevin (Ryan Merriman), and his girlfriend (another inconsequential actor) at their high school fling (?) which takes place in an amusement park. We meander around, meet some other ill-conceived characters who were created just to die horrifically, and then the big catastrophe happens as a roller coaster flings its passengers off the track to their DOOM! Of course, this is all realized by Wendy to be a frighteningly real vision who simply stands at a safe distance and yells to stop the ride that her friends are on. Wake me up when this stops carelessly retreading previous events.

Oh, damn. I missed the whole movie. Upon rewatching it, it is clear for me that what makes a Final Destination good as opposed to just mediocre are the characters. The main duo of Winstead and Merriman are decent enough but they seem to just flit by on the audience’s expectations of the good guys who know what is going on. They don’t really stand out other than when covered in blood-spatter. This happens often. It is somewhat disconcerting though that the creators of the original seemed to be too caught up in how to make the death scenes cooler than how to write secondary characters that resonate even a little like Billy or Carter from the first. Even most of the fodder from part 2 are more developed than just the doomed angry jock or the doomed angry Goth couple from this film.

Hell, the fact that two of the victims are kept in secret may have been an interesting angle if not that one of them is someone we have never seen before and thus don’t give a shit about. I may be on the opposite side of the spectrum here, but in order for a movie about people being killed to be interesting, I have to be at least passively invested in the characters. Maybe I’m an old fashioned kind of guy that way. After the opening scene, everyone other than Wendy and Kevin disappear unless it is time for them to be fed some glossed-over exposition about the events of the original or to be killed. This is fine and dandy except for the fact that you aren’t really sure who just got their head bifurcated by a truck engine because you only saw him in two scenes. If all I wanted to see were random deaths, I’d keep an eye out for Kenny on South Park (not the UFG one).

I am glad that Wong managed to curtail some of his more artsy tendencies as there were about 200% less crane shots in this film as the first. In fact, most of the scenes are directed competently except for some of the more lacking talent in the cast. Now, I’m not saying that the original was on par with Weekend at Bernie’s say, but it was manageable. Some of the scenes here though were just painfully awkward (especially with Winstead, I hope she does better in The Thing remake/whatever) and it is just another reminder that the series had devolved into little else than random deaths with a bit of exposition sprinkled in for flair.

It is disappointing that this movie was lacking so much that made the original semi-memorable even with the returning creators and excellent music again by Shirley Walker. I don’t hold out hope that the next one will be any better.

The original Final Destination is no grand pinnacle in cinema, or even horror films, but it does a few things right. Its follow-up is again no grand treasure, but a pretty effective continuation of the first and one that tries to loop back into the mythos of the first. Final Destination 2‘s main draw is the focus on elaborate deaths no doubt, but it almost taps into some of the humanity of the first. Moreso than those killer logs in the first act anyway.

The big forewarned death scene in this film is one of the best action/horror/carnage scenes ever in my opinion. If there is anything Mythbusters has taught me it is that a car is not likely to explode unless it is loaded up with a few hundred gallons of gasoline and some primer cord. I don’t think the makers of this film saw that episode. It’s still pretty awesome though.

Anyways, Kimberly (A.J. Cook) is on her way to a spring break blast with a few friends in tow when she has a vision of a massive traffic accident which claims the lives of dozens in pretty gnarly, if improbable, ways. A bunch of oddly bouncy logs break from a flat-bed trailer. They impale drivers, crash into other cars with fiery explosions, or simply cause massive fireballs out of non-flammable diesel gas. Whatevs. But it’s a dream. Or is it? If anything, FD2 has one of the more rewatchable eight minutes of film ever if you are entertained by senseless violence. I am, if that hasn’t been made apparent yet.

After Kimberly “saves” the lives of a few people by blocking their entry to the death’s interstate (her poorly established friends notwithstanding), the saved laugh and scoff at her premonition. “Ha, what a looney! She thinks she saved us from imminent death even though we clearly would have died if we were on that road. Witch!” It’s not as much crap as Devon Sawa gets in the first one, but that’s one thing that always bothered me about these films. Let’s outright blame the person who saved us from being mincemeat the first time. Brilliant strategy!

Director David R. Ellis and a smorgasbord of screenwriters do their best to emulate the tone of the first film but to no avail. The characters are not as deep, the scenarios are outrageously over-the-top, and they even bring Ali Larter back from the nuthouse to guide these poor souls as they get eviscerated by whatever Death (or God or whomever) throws their way. There were some moments in the first film that threatened to be deep philosophical discussions but that was mostly glossed over when a new body hit the floor. There is not as much depth in the conversations here.

This time, instead of pondering the whys about death, Kimberly, Clear, Officer Burke (Michael Landes), et al. are busy figuring out why things are different this time around with Death going in reverse chronological order when claiming its victims. The explanation that these victims were indirectly tied to those from the first is pretty out there but actually ties in nicely with the first film. But since the characters are not as complex as before, they are offset with death scenes that make up for it. Truth be told, most are actually pretty cool especially a couple in the back half of the film. Although, for characters who should have died in a massive car accident, they have no qualms about getting into a car again. Weird.

So, the action and the Rube Goldberg-y (this is mentioned in every other FD review so who am I to argue?) death scenes are quite enjoyable. As well as the gore; there is a fair amount of gore. But, the story feels rusty in just the second installment like a wheel about to fling off and tear you a new one. It’s not as solid a supernatural flick as the first, but it has its moments all the same.

With Comic-Con upon us, news of upcoming movies and TV shows have been flooding through my RSS reader at the point that I can barely keep up. All I know for sure is that Walking Dead will be here much later than I would like and the new Spider-Man looks like garbage. Regardless, let’s dig in with some of the more recent and newsworthy bits that have been released.

The Amazing Spider-Man trailer

Is this purposely trying to copy a darker tone like Nolan’s Batman series? Maybe that’s the standard for superhero movies nowadays but it still seems jarring in contrast to the light and fluffy Sam Raimi version. Of course, it might be jarring simply because we saw this same damn origin story just a decade ago. Separately, I love Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone and I’m sure that the acting will not be a problem in this. In fact, the trailer looks pretty good but god does this feel like a completely unnecessary movie.

Paranormal Activity 3 trailer

I remarked in my review for the last film that this series needs a new hook. It didn’t find one apparently. Instead, we have the characters from the first and second films present, this time as little girls in the 1980s. Yes, while PA2 was kind of a prequel/sidequel (or whatever you call films like Saw IV), this is a full blown prequel. Based on the trailer, it still looks scary as hell but this series has not had a problem with that. But, this story creates two problems: 1) we know damn well that some little kids are not going to be harmed in a studio horror film and 2) these two little girls grow up and star in the others. Thus ::SPOILER ALERT PROBABLY:: they must make it through this one.

Random News
Nothing much new from the Final Destination 5 camp … other than this glorious picture of the lovely Emma Bell, courtesy of Warner Bros. Truth be told, this is included for pbf’s benefit mostly.

There’s another Ghost Rider film? Still starring Cage? Written by those asshats behind Jonah Hex? Fuck. (AICN)

Stephen Spielberg thinks we want to go back to Jurassic Park. (comingsoon.net)

Cronenberg’s “classic” Scanners is being developed for a TV series. (Deadlinehollywood.com)

It isn’t often that the fifth film in a series is well received by a far amount of respectable critics. It is even less often when that series is at best a popcorn movie geared towards adolescent boys, street racers, and the six or seven fans of Paul Walker. But shockingly, I’ve heard a lot of buzz about Fast Five and that … well, it is actually pretty good. As in currently holding as 79% rating on Rotten Tomatoes good.

Admittedly, this may be a bit premature as currently there are only a few dozen reviews tallied up. But considering the harsh critical reaction to the previous four movies (52%, 36%, 35%, and 27% respectively), it looks pretty safe that Fast Five could end up on the “fresh” side of the fence. But why?

I did not see the third or fourth movies strictly because they looked like car porn wrapped around a poor excuse for a plot with bad acting throughout. In fairness, the first two were as well. This film reportedly centers around the team including Vin Diesel and Walker who are battling “the man” as well as a drug dealer in Rio. It also adds The Rock (no, not Alcatraz) as the pursuing FBI agent and a shitload of action scenes with a gooey heist-y center.

Alas, the trailer below seems split between a real action movie and one filled with wall-to-wall car chases that would not appeal to me by itself. But, if this positive word of mouth keeps up, I may attempt one more time to forgive Walker for that damn Skulls movie.

We are going to travel back in time, but first, a briefing of what happened to Jason in Jason X, which chronologically(thus far) was his final adventure. He awakens on a space vessel in 2455 after being frozen years earlier. He begins to murder the folks aboard and actually almost is destroyed, but is rebuilt in to Super Jason. He has some kind of Cobra Commander looking new metal mask and is now a cyborg. Jason ends up literally “in” space floating at a very high speed about to collide with the survivors, but Sgt. Brodsky flies towards him and they both start heading toward Earth II where they are sucked in to the atmosphere. Thankfully, lakes exist on Earth II and we see two young people at one as they watch a shooting star fall in to the lake.  It’s Jason’s mask! Wooooo! What will happen next? Oh, yeah, we go back in time and visit another troubled town.

If you recall, at the end of Goes to Hell, Jason was defeated and in fact sent to hell. Suddenly, Freddy Kruger’s arm pulls Jason’s hockey mask down as well. Freddy vs. Jason picks up after that, in a crossover that fans had been anticipating for years.

Freddy is trapped in hell. He is no longer able to kill people in their dreams, because no one fears him anymore, thus he has no power. Anyone who has been tormented by Freddy is locked in an institution, and given medication to prevent them from dreaming. The rest of the residents of Springwood don’t even know who he is, or is keeping him a secret in order to prevent him from coming back. To remedy this, Freddy disguises himself as Jason’s mother and wakes him up. He tells Jason to go to Elm Street because the kids that live there have been bad. Jason first visits Lori’s (Halloween reference?) house where some kids are partying. Lori happens to live in the same house that Nancy Thompson did. Jason quickly, and quite brutally murders one of them. Because of the house involved,  Freddy’s name is quickly thrown around as a possible suspect. Not quite powerful enough to kill yet, Freddy lets Jason take care of some more kids, but this just complicates matters as Jason starts killing all of Freddy’s victims. This causes the titular “versus.”

It may be because of the extremely poor quality of the last few Jason films, but Freddy vs. Jason is not as terrible as I remember. Yes, the plot of the film is a bit of a stretch and all Freddy does it repeat or alter most of his catch phrases from his films. But there’s some interesting things going on here.

While Robert Englund reprises his role as Freddy, Kane Hodder does not return as Jason. This time he is played by Ken Kirzinger. His Jason is rather frightening, as his eyes are vacant as opposed to menacing. He seems like a lifeless killing machine just following orders rather than seeking out victims. This makes sense as he is killing Freddy’s victims and not camp counselors or family members.

Also interesting was the combination of people being dispatched both in dreams and real life. It caused a sort of humorous debate of which psychopath was worse and which one should be afraid of more. Unfortunately, this also caused an unavoidable uncomfortable spilling of exposition as the survivors magically pieced together what happened and then formulated a plan to stop them both.

What wasn’t good? The films drags terribly for a while. Even with Jason killing people, there are some very long spots of things uninteresting. Freddy was too “funny.” Especially when directly compared to Jason. The mood of the film was quite dark when Freddy wasn’t present. I would have preferred an overall darker film.

Overall this was a better Friday sequel than a Nightmare sequel. It was also very mediocre. It was not very redemptive of the hype and anticipation invested in it. It was also very isolated from both franchises in feeling, despite the inclusion of music from both and obviously the two main characters. This film escapes the “crap” category, but barely.

Favorite kill: Have to go with Trey. He is repeatedly stabbed in bed, then as if it were a roll-away, Jason folds the bed with Trey in it.