Bucky Larson: Born to Be a Star
I’ve determined that Adam Sandler through his Happy Madison shingle is trying to make everyone hate him. I cannot fathom any other explanation for his recent output (see Jack & Jill below). I needn’t really say much because the crap speaks for itself. Even the trailer announcer sounds bored. Watch for it to hopefully tank this weekend, September 9. Bucky Larson trailer

Abduction
“Whatdya say we remake those Bourne movies with that kid from those, eh … Twilight movies? Yeah! No, not Robert Patterson (sic)! The other hunky one. Yeah. We just need to get a big director like Spike Lee! Oh, he’s not available. What about John Singleton? Yeah, that’s the stuff. And, uh, we’ll pack it with good actors like Alfred Molina and Sigourney Weaver! Big blockbusta on our hands!” – random movie exec. I’ll pass on this September 23. Abduction trailer

Real Steel
Pop quiz, Hollywood hot shot! What do you get when you combine the Fighter/Rocky/any other boxing movie with Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots? Uh, the humorously named Real Steel apparently. From the trailer below, it seems to hit all of the stepping stones for a underdog sports movie … except by replacing the underdog with a pile of metal under the tutelage of Wolverine and some bratty looking kid. Expect it to make a trillion dollars off the backs of stupid movie fans on October 7. Reel Steal trailer

Footloose
Sacrilege alert! I’ve never seen the original Kevin-Baconized Footloose. Wait, is that cheering or booing? Either way, chalk another 80s film to the Tinsel Town remake train as a small town with a ban on typical teenager fun like dancing. I would assume the sex and drugs are off-limits as well. A new cast of unknowns attempt to shake up the establishment by dancing any-damn-way (shocker!) and ruffle Dennis Quaid’s feathers. It looks flashy like Step Up and edgy like … Step Up 3(?) with the hollowness of both combined. Mark your calenders to skip this turkey October 14. Footloose trailer

Red State
Honestly, it’s hard to judge this one by the trailer alone. It looks part awesome (the gunfight mostly) and questionable (everything else). But this has gotten crapped on by a lot of reviews regardless of what Quentin Tarantino says. Kevin Smith will probably chalk that up to critics being stuck-up assholes but I am hardly a critic and despised Cop Out. Be educated when it drops October 21.
Red State trailer

Tower Heist
I’ve already spoken of Brett Ratner’s Tower Heist before but mostly because it was a pretty good cast in a horrid looking movie. It is even more relevant now that Eddie Murphy has been tapped to host the Oscars next February (coincidentally produced by Ratner too) and I still cannot imagine a good movie coming out of this. Be skeptical come November 4. Tower Heist trailer

Jack and Jill
Dear baby Jesus. I cannot believe this is a real movie! I honestly cannot conceive that “From the Producers of Just Go With It and Grown Ups” is a selling point in the trailer! I cannot comprehend that there seems to be twice as much unfunny Adam Sandler in this than his last aborted comedy I watched. I am still waiting for the day before November 11 that Sandler announces to the world that this was merely a big-budgeted hoax made into a trailer just to show movie-goers how asinine their purchases are. I’m really waiting … still waiting. Jack and Jill trailer (Dear God, why?)

The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1
So … positives! The trailer came in under two minutes! That’s pretty good considering the recent crop. And … well, I got nothing else. Yes, you might recall that I kind of liked the last one to an extent. At least it wasn’t as bad as the preceeding entry. Watching this trailer makes me want to go tear off my shirt in anger and go run in the rain. If I transform into a werewolf, at least I won’t have to worry about gaining admittance to this piece on November 18. And I hate weddings too! Breaking Dawn trailer

New Year’s Eve
What can Ashton Kutcher, Katherine Heigl, Zac Efron, and Sarah Jessica Parker equal? A movie that I unconditionally do not want to see! I never saw Valentine’s Day either. I consider myself lucky for that but even the celebratory night of drinking and shenanigans is not safe from the rom-com crew. Put those folks in a remake of New Year’s Evil and I’ll be there. Otherwise, have fun in a probably crowded theater when this launches December 9. New Year’s Eve trailer

Well, fall is officially upon us. At least according to the calender as the weather here apparently has not gotten that memo. Currently, we are a mere seven days away from the tenth month of the year, one which is most commonly associated with fall foliage, chilly nights, and of course Halloween. But there is a great deal upcoming in the next few weeks other than Breast Cancer Awareness Month and my favorite Leif Erikson Day that will make this next month one to remember.

9. The Walking Dead
Okay, so this technically isn’t relevant on a site dedicated solely to movies but that’s okay. Because this upcoming AMC television series looks more and more badass with every trailer, clip, and image that is released. Based on an immensely popular graphic novel series which I religiously flip through while in Barnes and Noble, this will be a weekly series that takes place after some kind of zombie apocalypse renders the majority of people mindless flesh freaks (did you like that?). If you take Jericho or The Stand with a dash of some old-school (as in good) George Romero, that’s what we have here. The series premieres on Halloween night.

8. I Spit on Your Grave
Admittedly, I have not seen the original but I can’t say I’m in a big rush to do so. With the glut of so-called contemporary “torture-porn” movies these days, why bother going back to visit one that was banned in a billion countries if I remember the VHS box art from little Puck’s local video store? Well, just like every other horror movie, good or not, this one is being remade and is scheduled to be released unrated in select theaters on October 8th. From what I’ve seen thus far, it sounds like this very intense revenge flick is actually pretty good. Here’s to hoping there will be a theater to show it in my area.

7. My Soul to Take
Just like most other filmmakers, Wes Craven has had his high points (Scream) as well as his low (uh, Vampire in Brooklyn?) during his long-tenured career. Scheduled to release also on October 8th, My Soul to Take looks like very familiar territory for Craven with elements of both slasher movies and the supernatural. While it is annoyingly being released in 3D and very well could tank hard given some of Craven’s later ventures into film (Hills Have Eyes 2, ’nuff said) but it is always nice to see a genre vet attempt a triumphant return. Even if it blows, Craven hopefully still has Scream 4 to fall back on.

6. Saw 3D
Speaking of annoyingly shoehorned in 3D effects, the Saw franchise allegedly comes to a close on October 29. After six previous movies in as many years, it seems hard to believe that any studio would let such a money printing series go gracefully. While Jigsaw has been dead for the past three films if I remember correctly, the mantle has been carried on regardless and the last installment, Part VI, was actually pretty well-received. Either way, if you’re a fan of the series, take comfort in the fact that the legacy is (supposedly) going out with an extra third dimension and a visit by some guy from The Princess Bride. If you hate the series, there’s only one more.

5. Paranormal Activity 2
Here’s to hoping that the sequel to last year’s micro-budget Paranormal Activity will not end up as horrid as the similar Blair Witch series. Given that PA made about 14,000 times its budget in box office revenue, I hold out hope that the sequel does not betray the intensity of the first with the original director still overseeing the process. Some people did not like PA, and I can totally understand why, but for those who did, it looks like this will be another good month to invest in a quasi-professional home video camera … just in case.

4. Let Me In
I loved Let the Right One In, the original film this movie is a remake of. Like many others, I was upset that Hollywood producers thought it beneficial to remake another movie, dumbing it down for American audiences simply because the first had subtitles. But, as more information continues to trickle out about the Matt Reeves (of Cloverfield fame) directed vampire story featuring the young Chloe Moretz, the more I have to look forward to. From the previews at least, it appears less of a remake and more of a re-imagining (if I understand the terms correctly) as the basic plot of a 12-year-old girl being a horrific vampire is the only common factor. Plenty of vampiric mayhem still ensues I’m sure and it is nice to see a solid, brutal vampire movie that does not feature perfect muscle tone trying to act (guess what I’m digging at there).

3. AMC’s Fearfest
Didn’t this used to be called Monsterfest? Anyway, one of my favorite parts of October is the abundance of horror movies that invade otherwise tranquil cable TV stations and AMC for the past several years has been no different. Yeah, so there are commercials and its had some gore trimmed to appease the masses but then again it will almost certainly feature some of the better installments of the Halloween franchise and other horror-ish movies that I likely otherwise would not watch. Plus, see the opening point in this article and see why AMC will be heavily visited in the next few weeks.

2. Hatchet II
PBF and I love Hatchet. If you do not feel the same, I would contest you have poor judgment in film but of course, that is all subjective. Just squeaking into the October awesome-fest, Victor Crowley returns as Adam Green’s Hatchet II opens next Friday but some cinemas that are not too dainty to show unrated films are having midnight showings. Barring a natural disaster or crazy gun-toting family member, both PBF and I will be at a midnight showing an hour and a half away and I suggest you do the same.

1. ?
I know it’s pretty lame to have a list of nine things and leave one of those open but a pretty cool feature is coming to Movie Scum in the next few days. I just don’t want to spoil the surprise. At least, not until I can validate it.

If it seems that Hollywood is all about the easy dollar these days with remakes, adaptations, and sequels to existing properties, you would be correct. But let us remember a time, back in the day if you will, that movies could be movies without launching franchises. Here are several pretty big movies that may (or may not) have missed their shot at spawning offspring.

9. Twister
The inclusion of this film may be premature, but it is hard to believe that 1996′s $240 million blockbuster did not spawn a sequel. Maybe a sequel could shift the focus to Alan Ruck and Philip Seymour Hoffman in a small town where tornadoes are targeting a nuclear power plant. Oh wait. Zack Morris already did that movie.

8. Independence Day
This is another one with recent rumbles of a sequel but who knows when we might see more of Bill Pullman playing President Awesome or Will Smith being … every other action star Will Smith has ever played. Now, I get that this is not a high-caliber movie but who did not cheer when Randy Quaid did very suggestive things to that alien spaceship? Anyone? Okay, moving along now.

7. Runaway
You have all of the elements of classic 80s and cheese in this movie: mustache, KISS, Kirstie Alley. Why did Michael Crichton never think to get on a sequel where Lois goes hay-wire and carves up young Bobby for Thanksgiving dinner? Get Paul Stanley this time as the evil genius behind it all, add Shelley Long in the mix and you’ve got yourself a blockbuster going!

6. Galaxy Quest
Star Trek fans may not have liked it too much but Galaxy Quest was fine cinema spoof and/or satire (I can never tell which) at its very best. I am sure it can’t be hard to drag Tim Allen back for another after the latest Toy Story movie comes out. The rest of the cast … eh, that may be a bit harder. As long as Sam Rockwell is in, I can dig it.

5. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Director Robert Zemeckis had over a decade after the first before he would go crazy with motion-capture animation, more than enough time for a sequel to reunite Roger Rabbit, his lovely wife Jessica, baby Herman, and the rest of the animated and live-action cast. Hell, if Bob Hoskins wasn’t available, we could have lived with Kenneth Branagh in his place.

4. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
If anyone could make calling in for a sick day from work entertaining, it would be Ferris Bueller. You know you’ve played hooky from work to sit around and read Movie Scum or plant in the garden. It would be tough now without John Hughes but to see Ferris weasel his way out of staff meetings and team building exercises just to drink beer and watch porn would be the catharsis of an entire working class.

3. Office Space
Realizing it would be next to impossible to recapture the passive-aggressive, self-loathing sense of the characters in the original, I would love to see another workplace comedy that nails the characterizations of the smug, SOB boss, annoying co-workers, and sense of dread when walking into a cubicle farm or retail establishment or fast food restaurant or anything else Mike Judge deems is funny.

2. Blade Runner
Sure, so it tanked at the box office back in 1982. But since then, the tales of replicant-hunting Deckard have been etched into the mainstream of cult cinema and beloved by all … except me that is. Possibly a forthcoming sequel could entice me to actually sit and watch the entire first part without falling asleep or becoming insanely homicidal from boredom. So what if it’s over twenty years later? That didn’t stop another Harrison Ford series from being unjustly resurrected.

1. Any Arnold Schwarzenegger movie (except Conan, Predator or Terminator)
Just look at his resume and tell me you would not want to see a sequel to Commando, The Running Man, or Total Recall. Hell, I’d even be game for a Kindergarten Cop sequel if it was Ah-nuld in high school English as he wields puns in his thick Austrian accent. I would really love though a True Lies sequel if James Cameron can get off his giant CGI Smurf infatuation.

Now, I get that this is a really broad generalization encompassing over a hundred different actors but the Nightmare on Elm Street series seems to have been a showstopper for many an actor. All one has to do is peruse through the IMDb pages of the various films in the series to see several who have stopped working, taken extended hiatuses, or have been relegated to brief TV-show appearances or DTV movies. While this phenemonon is also apparent in other long-running slasher series as well, for now we are talking Freddy. So let’s dig in.

Lin Shaye: Random Teacher (Original)
Being the baby sister of the studio head can’t hurt but Lin Shaye has managed to carve out a pretty decent resume. She was in There’s Something about Mary, Snakes on a Plane, both Dumb and Dumber movies, and Boat Trip? Okay, I didn’t say these movies were good but at least a good chunk of her appearances make a (albeit probably brief) appearance in theaters says something.

Breckin Meyer: Spencer (Freddy’s Dead)
Again, not saying anything about the quality of the production but here we have the main guy from Road Trip, Jon from the Garfield movies, Go, and most recently appearing in a shitload of episodes for Robot Chicken as well as other recurring roles on several TV shows.

Patricia Arquette: Kristen (Part 3)
While she has been busy of late headlining Medium, previously Arquette appeared in Little Nicky, Lost Highway, and True Romance. Speaking of, what the hell is David Arquette up to nowadays?

Larry Fishburne: Max (Part 3)
Oh, shit. I mean Laurence. Apparently that’s still a touchy subject for him. We all have seen him recently (or I guess you all have as I don’t watch it) heading up the original CSI crew but lest we not forget his appearances in the Matrix series, the good Mission Impossible movie, a personal favorite Event Horizon, as well as the upcoming Predators.

Tracy Middendorf: Julie (New Nightmare)
Whereas some of the Nightmare alum may have to slum with random appearances on TV shows, Tracy has embraced this lifestyle with appearances in several of my favorite shows including Angel, Alias, and 24. While she is essentially playing disposable characters for the story’s sake, at least she can do so consistently.

Marshall Bell: Coach Schneider (Part 2)
Ah, yes. The S&M gym teacher. Who could have thought this would become the man who would fight for humanity in Starship Troopers, defend Charlie Sheen (in the movie!) in The Chase, and babysit Kuato in Total Recall. That’s a bad-ass man.

Lyman Ward: Mr. Grady (Part 2)
This goes to show that thirty seconds of screen time can be just enough to propel you into stardom … sort of. Ward went on after this to be Ferris’ dimwitted dad, Jake’s dimwitted dad in Not Another Teen Movie, and some dimwitted fool in a favorite killer child movie of mine, Mikey.

Jason Ritter: Will (Freddy Vs. Jason)
The son of John Ritter (who also worked with FVJ director Ronnie Yu, weird) went on to have regular status in the series Joan of Arcadia and The Class as well as working with director Oliver Stone in W. Not bad for a guy and a character that I remember not a damn thing about.

Wes Craven: Himself (New Nightmare)
Yeah, this is cheating but coming up with a list of nine(!) people from this series is hard. So while Craven’s acting has been limited to cameos here and there, he helmed a successful horror franchise with Scream, helped reboot his own films The Hills Have Eyes and Last House on the Left, and made a movie about an orchestra or something.

Writer’s Note:
I automatically disqualified Johnny Depp and Robert Englund as they were too easy to include. And John Saxon was excluded solely for his participation in Beverly Hills Cop 3.

I love DVDs. Right after high school, I was buying at least a half dozen a week if not more. Yet there are several things that just pluck my nerves. This list is not in any particular order and certainly not inclusive. I am quite sure there could be a revisit to this topic eventually.

9. “Large Screen” Releases
Essentially, these are films originally in a larger aspect ration, usually 2.40:1, that are cropped during a certain group of scenes. Not only do I despise not watching movies in their original ratios, the way this was handled for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen was quite poor, and I’m not only referring to the movie itself. The jump back and forth between scenes (and even different shots within the same scene) is quite jarring. I know a normal movie-goer might not notice but it is rather annoying regardless.

8. Delayed Releases
Now that Netflix and Redbox have caved to several studios’ demands to withhold new releases for almost a month after they hit DVD, the only way to see The Blind Side, Sherlock Holmes, and now Avatar on DVD is to either buy them outright or go to Blockbuster (and who really wants to do that) only to get a stripped down version lacking any extras. Not only does that make things more difficult for us at Movie Scum, Inc. to keep up with the newest films, regular consumers who might be looking for the latest generic rom-com from these studios in their normal venues might get discouraged and give up. Or if they are tech savvy enough, they will just download it illegally.

7. Cheaper DVD Cases
Back in the day, I could not stand those Warner cardboard cases but at least they fell relatively sturdy even if they just fell apart ten years later. Now, the latest trend is to take a regular case with a nice, happy recycle sign where the insert (remember those?) used to go. Allegedly, these are better for the environment as they use less plastic but every time I go to remove a disc, I feel like the whole case will either break in half or break the disc in the process of getting it out. Give me that extra three slivers of plastic back and go plant a tree or something to feel better.

6. Unskippable Previews
When I sat down to watch Sherlock Holmes, I was treated to at least eight to ten previews of some sort. They were mostly movie trailers with a few video game previews and even a non-smoking ad. The problem was the next chapter option was disabled and the only way to skip through was to fast forward. As every other preview started a new chapter which you had to then hit fast forward again, this was quite an arduous task that took about five minutes to get to the actual menu itself. So, for all the trailers and the mind-boggling thought involved, the menu did not even have a scene selection option. What the hell?

5. Stupid Floating Heads vs. Original Poster Art
There has been much written on this in other venues but it is still irritating when a perfectly good (and appropriate to the film) theatrical poster is jettisoned for the DVD release because it is not as flashy. I quite enjoy most all of the Nightmare on Elm Street series poster art (even for the crap ones) but for the single DVD releases, these awesome posters were replaced by the always popular floating heads and bad photoshop backgrounds. The same thing happened to the James Bond re-re-releases some time ago. I shudder to think of what an awesome, minimalist poster like The Thing would look like if released today.

4. Lackluster Collections
To mention the Sherlock Holmes DVD yet again, there was in one of the aforementioned trailers a collection of all of Clint Eastwood’s Warner Brothers films which actually looked quite good and thorough. However, most DVD collections leave much to be desired. This could be for a number of different reasons — lack of competing studio cooperation, lack of behind-the-scenes involvement, etc. — but most give you the same movies you can buy separately but with an additional disc for extras not available otherwise. So, you can buy all the films (including the ones you don’t want or already have) just for the bonus or miss out. And even worse, they are not “complete” collections which leave out the good stuff. I have yet to see any deleted scenes from the original Nightmare on Elm Street other than an Anchor Bay VHS from about fifteen years ago even after two collection releases and a standalone special edition. Not to mention that it took Paramount three tries (one single disc, one collection, subsequent “special-er” editions) to get decent releases of the Friday the 13th series.

3. Stupid “Special Edition” Names
I guess when you release the same movie countless times, there has to be a way to differentiate between each. Most of these DVD nomenclatures attempt to tie into the movie but, seriously? Pretty in Pink: Everything’s Duckie Edition; Planes, Trains, and Automobiles (Those Aren’t Pillows Edition); 13 Going on 30: Fun & Flirty Edition. Whatever happened to just plain old Special or Ultimate Edition? Check here for some special edition names that may or may not come to fruition.

2. Rerelease Hell
You know that little movie Avatar that is being released on DVD this week? Can’t wait to see the quadrillion dollar grossing picture in lackluster at home 3D? Ah, you’re going to have to wait as that is being withheld for another version down the line. At least (some) consumers had the knowledge going in that a better version was coming out but what about the other films that are released almost bare with the intention to release a better version down the line. Studios are all about cashing in on popular franchises so it makes sense from their end to release whatever they can as fast as they can but for those fans who want, I dunno, promised special director’s cuts or more in-depth special features, they have to either be patient and wait for the in-the-pipeline better release or buy two versions of the same movie.

1. Same Movie, Three Different DVDs
The trend used to be different version for full-screen n00bs and widescreen which made it hell to receive a DVD as a gift from someone who does not know different. While that still happens, there are now separate releases for theatrical version, bare-bones uncut version with digital version, uncut version with special features, theatrical version full screen with a commentary only available on that disc. If you want to have everything available, you have to buy at minimum two discs, if not more! Whatever happened to that awesome seemless branching thing that DVDs were advertised with back in the day to allow different versions on the same disc? Is it really that much easier to have eight different SKUs for the same movie? Damn all that.

Post-publish addendum:
Dear Disney,
Remember all of those DVDs you released in your first year or two that are non-anamorphic, bare bones releases? If you can’t at least go back and add in a commentary or something, at least clean it up so a VHS bootleg copy doesn’t look better than your product.
Sincerely,
Puck

So I was thinking about how most movies that are released nowadays are a bunch of remakes, re imaginings or regurgitations  of something from days of olde (or in some cases, not). I drifted off to a simpler time. A time of Garbage Pail Kids and Saturday Morning Cartoons. I started remembering some pretty awesome and questionable shows that I used to watch that I would not mind seeing on the big screen. So here are 9 of them, in no particular order.

1. M.A.S.K. The acronym stands for Mobile Armoured Strike Kommand. That’s a bit of a reach. Anyway, they fight the forces of V.E.N.O.M. , or Vicious Evil Network Of Mayhem. I think it is clear who has the better name. The leader of V.E.N.O.M. is responsible for the leader of M.A.S.K.’s brother’s death. This conflict is the basis of the show. The “gag,” I guess, of it was that the vehicles that they all drove, turned into other vehicles. For example, a motorcyle turned into a helicopter. No really an original idea, but still a good show. My favorite part though was the opening sequence. I can’t find this version on the internet, but basically, the team would be summoned to assemble by their watches. The opening showed them doing their regular jobs (i.e. karate instructor, judge), getting the call, and then just up and leaving. And the theme song was just terrible terrible funny.

2. Silverhawks.It will come up. Once the Thundercats movie is out, someone will greenlight Silverhawks. Silverhawks was very similar to Thundercats in a few ways. Some of the cast of both shows were the same. Villian in Thundercats: Mum Ra. Silverhawks: Mon Star. They both turn into another “person.” Sliverhawks took place in space and had possibly one of the dumbest ideas for a weapon: An electric guitar that shoots musical notes from it. It’s played by Bluegrass, who I guess is the “country” Silverhawk.

3. InHumanoids. This show was badass. The Inhumanoids lived under ground and they start to wreak havoc on the surface. There is a team of underground explorers called Earth Corp. in these crazy suits that work to destroy them. Awesome.

4. Danger Mouse. Hell yeah! Mouse secret agent that lives where Sherlock Holmes lives (well, his mailbox)! Fighting Baron Greenback! Remember? This show was awesome, and if you disagree, you are wrong.

5. Bananaman. The premise? Ridiculous. But delightful nonetheless. Eric Wimp (ha!), gets his power from bananas, usually brought to him by his friend (a crow), hence the name of his alter-ego. He had various enemies, one of which was named Appleman.

6. Mister T. That’s right, I want him to reprise his role as a gymnastic coach solving mysteries in a live action movie. And I swear to God, if they cast Zac Efron or a Jonas Brother as one of the kids…well, let’s just say I pity the fool that does that.

7. Mighty Max. This show was really well written. I remember it being funny, and smart. Max is the “cap-bearer” and has to protect the Earth from Skullmaster (Tim Curry!), a task that he less than desires. He would travel with his pals Virgil and Norman, the latter of which is his bodyguard.

8. Cow and Chicken. Cow (girl) and Chicken (boy) are sister and brother, and are in fact a cow and chicken, but their “parents” are human. I put that in quotes only because their parents seemed to not have bodies, from the waist up. This show was really bizarre and somewhat disturbing, which is precisely why I like it. Obviously, this would probably not be live action.

9. Tigersharks. This also was developed by Rankin/Bass, who were responsible for the aforementioned Thundercats and Silverhawks. I called them chumps before, and they are, but, I would like to see a movie just so I could here someone cover that awesome, awesome theme song.

The shape shifting beast man has been a staple of horror fiction since, well, before horror fiction even existed. Legends of men transforming by the light of the full moon date back as far as the 13^th century C.E. In anticipation for the new horror fur-fest coming out this weekend, I have decided to pay tribute to the best werewolf movies that we have today. Don’t worry, Taylor Lautner isn’t anywhere on this list.

9. Monster Squad (1987) Although not purely a werewolf movie, this one does feature a werewolf prominently as part of a monster super-star tag team. It also answers the question of what happens when you don’t have any silver around and just blow up a werewolf.

8. The Werewolf (1956) The classic horror tale was updated in this Sam Katzman produced film with a sci-fi twist for the atomic age. Here, two scientists experiment on an auto-accident survivor, but a side-effect of the research transforms him into the familiar hairy beast-man.

7. Wolf (1994) Few things are as entertaining as Jack Nicholson acting all crazy. This film slowly builds a nice, thick tension and includes a lot of great actors.

6. The Howling (1981) Special effects visionary Rob Bottin cut his teeth, so to speak, on this gritty thriller. The beginning and end of the film make the view worth while, and the werewolves in this one are huge and very intimidating.

5. Curse of the Werewolf (1961) In this film, part of the Hammer Horror legacy, the curse of the werewolf is brought on because an unwanted child was born on Christmas Day. God has a sick sense of humor. “You’re a werewolf! Merry Christmas!”

4. Dog Soldiers (2002) Pitting a paramilitary squad against the shape shifters makes this a very different take on a werewolf movie right from the beginning. Sure, it’s pretty campy, but that just adds to the charm.

3. Teen Wolf (1985) Michael J. Fox is a werewolf, in high school, that plays basketball. That is just awesome. Sure, it’s not a horror movie, but who cares. How often do you get to see a werewolf play basketball?

2. The Wolf Man (1941) The movie that started it all. Like all classic Universal monster flicks, this one has great set design and creates a superbly creepy atmosphere. It also has a stellar score. Even without the aid of modern day effects, it’s still great to watch.

1. An American Werewolf in London (1981) This movie has, hands down, the best on-screen wolf transformation in any movie, ever. John Landis combined easy-going comedy and charismatic acting with brutal horror and effects to make this werewolf masterpiece

It’s no secret that Hollywood plays hard and fast with things like gravity, time, and logic. However, one of the more irritating glaring omissions from the fact-checking process is the age of actors cast to play high schoolers. While researching this article, I came to the sad realization that approximately 70% of people in high school movies are over the drinking age. However, these are the worst offenders in only the movies that I have personally seen that immediately jumped out.

Alan Ruck
Slap a suit and tie on him and 29-year-old Ruck could have conceivably played Ed Rooney in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

Gabrielle Union
Its actually a compliment to her as she can almost convincingly pull off a teenager in 10 Things I Hate About You and Bring It On at 28.

Matthew Lillard
Perhaps it was his jovial nature or immaturity that sold him as a high-schooler in Scream at the tender age of 26.

Judd Nelson
It is likely that Bender failed a few grades prior to the events of Breakfast Club but to be a senior at 26 pushes the realm of believability. Just get a GED dude!

Rachel McAdams
Maybe 26 is the sweet spot for going back to high school as McAdams was in Mean Girls. Funny thing that her normal-at-the-time costar Lindsey Lohan was only 18 and look who turned out better.

Judge Reinhold
I will give it to him that he ages quite well that he might have been able to go back to school instead of Fred Savage in Vice Versa instead of being in Fast Times at Ridgemont High at 25.

Alyson Hannigan
I’m going to call on her widow’s peak and band talk as the way she could skirt past common sense appearing in American Pie when she was 25 also.

Shawn Hatosy
Much to my surprise, Hatosy has been fairly busy since his turn at 23 in The Faculty thus killing my MIA post on him. His age actually did him well as I can buy him as a cop (as he is currently on SouthLAnd) over pip-squeak Elijah Wood.

Reese Witherspoon
Between Election and Cruel Intentions, I would choose the former as she looked quite young for being 23 and it was fucking hilarious. Cruel Intentions did have a lesbian kiss though. Damn trade-offs.

In the real world, guns are dangerous, deadly devices that should always be handled with care and respect. In movies, however, guns are awesome! Even more awesome are the futuristic guns that only exist in frantic, action-packed movie fire fights. Here are my top 9 favorite fictional fire-arms.

9. Blamethrower (Mystery Men)
The only non-lethal gun on the list, this bazooka-esque heavy weapon, designed and built by Doc Heller, fires an invisible beam that causes groups of enemies to become very angry with one another, rendering them combat-ineffective.
8. M41a Pulse Rifle (Aliens)
Arguably the most versatile weapon in the space marine arsenal, this gun combines the automatic fire of the M1A1 Thompson with an under-slung pump-action SPAS12 shotgun, loaded in the film with small grenades.
7. Samaritan (Hellboy)
A big demon that hunts other big demons needs an edge, and Hellboy’s massive revolver fits the bill. Not only is the gun itself made from mystical materials (wood from the true cross, blessed silver, etc.) but chambers four huge rounds with specific designs to harm supernatural monster types.
6. Proton Pack (Ghostbusters)
Sure, bustin’ makes you feel good, but the long term health effects of carrying around an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on your back have yet to be documented. What ever you do with it, don’t cross the streams.
5. Noisy Cricket (Men In Black)
A deceptively tiny side-arm with a lot of gusto. Presumably reverse-engineered from alien technology, this weapon fires a focused sonic wave that blasts through any targets and knocks its user on his ass. Do not discharge in view of the public.
4. Railgun with X-Ray Scope (Eraser)
As if a rifle that uses electromagnetic coils to propel a projectile at mach seven isn’t deadly enough, this version includes a targeting system capable of scanning through walls to kill people more effectively.
3. Cobra Assault Cannon (RoboCop)
Built on the same frame as the real life Barret M82A1 .50 BMG, OCP’s state-of-the-art anti-vehicle weapon fires high-explosive rounds able to obliterate the otherwise bad-ass ED-209 in a single shot.
2. Zorg model ZF-1 (The Fifth Element)
Three thousand round magazine, adjustable handle, undetectable by X-Ray, includes rocket launcher, net launcher, arrow launcher, with exploding or poisonous arrow-heads, flamethrower, ice-cube cryo-blast system, need I go on?
1. Smart Gun (Runaway)
The only thing more frightening than Gene Simmons without his KISS make-up is a pistol that fires tiny, explosive rockets capable or tracking a target down where ever he or she tries to run or hide. It’s the ultimate one shot kill.