A recent Deadline article indicates that the only likely sane person at Disney Channel is planning on making a movie based on the adventures of Phineas and Ferb!

For the uninitiated (ie. those without kids who watch Disney), it centers around two brothers (technically step-brothers if I paid enough attention) Phineas and Ferb who are insanely inventive and have a lot of time on their hands to built rockets, giant roller coasters, and pretty much anything else one can recall imagining as a child. Unfortunately for the brothers, their sister Candice is constantly trying to expose their shenanigans to their mother. Fortunately she is never successful mostly due to their pet (secret agent) platypus Perry and his constant sparring with the evil dolt Dr. Doofenshmirtz.

I had once considered but never wrote a Make this Movie! article about the show because I can’t pin down exactly what makes it so enjoyable. It has irreverent humor, some satirical elements, pretty decent (and funny) songs throughout and is more reminiscent of the best cartoons from the 90s. Even though each half-episode follows the same formula, I can’t get enough when I can pry myself away from high-brow movies like Black Swan or Zombie Strippers. I would be hesitant about the reported live action/animation combination but the mere contemplation of this movie makes me giddy. I just hope they work in a fair amount of Doofenshmirtz jingles.

I could have sworn I read about a Farmville movie being planned but now I cannot find anything of it. Yes, Farmville. The flash-based Facebook game in which one manages a virtual farm, tending to crops, animals, and annoying people constantly asking to be neighbors and posting things on your Facebook wall is destined to be a movie at some point.

In fact, I would be shocked if a Farmville movie does not get made but if one does, we can assume it would follow in the tone of the game, innocent and annoying. However, I see a great potential to make a movie, backed by the Farmville popularity, yet twisted and horrifying. I would like the basic plot to go something like this.

• City boy moves to the country to look after a farm, preferrably one previously tended by a creepy member of his extended family
• Said farm has magical properties in which crops grow in less than a day
• A little black cat wanders onto the farm, cursing the new caretaker
• Strange folks nearby start turning up with random gifts of nails and bricks, wanting a piece of the magical property
• When the city boy refuses, things turn deadly

Throw in a little torture and unexplained happenings and we have a decent movie going! Far better than one more closely based on the game I would argue. Hell, maybe this is the one video game movie Uwe Boll couldn’t fuck up! He probably still would though.

In case you were unfamiliar with it, Yo Gabba Gabba is a pretty crazy looking pre-K show on Nickelodeon. It features five characters who are toys that come to life when DJ Lance Rock places them into their playset/whatever. Thereafter ensues a bunch of singing, dancing, and lessons for our youngest members of society. I started watching this as my 3-year-old was quite picky in her television tastes and would only sit still in front of this (she has since “graduated” to Dora but I sincerely recommend DO NOT make a Dora movie).

So, why would I want to see a movie based on a kid’s TV program? Simple. Intertwined with the moral stories about eating vegetables and cleaning up are some pretty funny occurrences, interesting guest stars, and trippy graphics. Surely you’ve seen the Kia commercial with the Sock Puppet and Muno (that’s the big red Cyclops thing) bowling and getting tattoos. I would imagine the plot would go in the direction of the characters are lost in the real world, they try to fit in but fail miserably, and there is a nice lady that helps reunite them with DJ Lance. Watch the embedded video below and tell me you would not pay money to see that happen on a city street with people standing around thinking “WTF!” This only scratches the surface of why Yo Gabba Gabba is so awesome.

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So I was thinking about how most movies that are released nowadays are a bunch of remakes, re imaginings or regurgitations  of something from days of olde (or in some cases, not). I drifted off to a simpler time. A time of Garbage Pail Kids and Saturday Morning Cartoons. I started remembering some pretty awesome and questionable shows that I used to watch that I would not mind seeing on the big screen. So here are 9 of them, in no particular order.

1. M.A.S.K. The acronym stands for Mobile Armoured Strike Kommand. That’s a bit of a reach. Anyway, they fight the forces of V.E.N.O.M. , or Vicious Evil Network Of Mayhem. I think it is clear who has the better name. The leader of V.E.N.O.M. is responsible for the leader of M.A.S.K.’s brother’s death. This conflict is the basis of the show. The “gag,” I guess, of it was that the vehicles that they all drove, turned into other vehicles. For example, a motorcyle turned into a helicopter. No really an original idea, but still a good show. My favorite part though was the opening sequence. I can’t find this version on the internet, but basically, the team would be summoned to assemble by their watches. The opening showed them doing their regular jobs (i.e. karate instructor, judge), getting the call, and then just up and leaving. And the theme song was just terrible terrible funny.

2. Silverhawks.It will come up. Once the Thundercats movie is out, someone will greenlight Silverhawks. Silverhawks was very similar to Thundercats in a few ways. Some of the cast of both shows were the same. Villian in Thundercats: Mum Ra. Silverhawks: Mon Star. They both turn into another “person.” Sliverhawks took place in space and had possibly one of the dumbest ideas for a weapon: An electric guitar that shoots musical notes from it. It’s played by Bluegrass, who I guess is the “country” Silverhawk.

3. InHumanoids. This show was badass. The Inhumanoids lived under ground and they start to wreak havoc on the surface. There is a team of underground explorers called Earth Corp. in these crazy suits that work to destroy them. Awesome.

4. Danger Mouse. Hell yeah! Mouse secret agent that lives where Sherlock Holmes lives (well, his mailbox)! Fighting Baron Greenback! Remember? This show was awesome, and if you disagree, you are wrong.

5. Bananaman. The premise? Ridiculous. But delightful nonetheless. Eric Wimp (ha!), gets his power from bananas, usually brought to him by his friend (a crow), hence the name of his alter-ego. He had various enemies, one of which was named Appleman.

6. Mister T. That’s right, I want him to reprise his role as a gymnastic coach solving mysteries in a live action movie. And I swear to God, if they cast Zac Efron or a Jonas Brother as one of the kids…well, let’s just say I pity the fool that does that.

7. Mighty Max. This show was really well written. I remember it being funny, and smart. Max is the “cap-bearer” and has to protect the Earth from Skullmaster (Tim Curry!), a task that he less than desires. He would travel with his pals Virgil and Norman, the latter of which is his bodyguard.

8. Cow and Chicken. Cow (girl) and Chicken (boy) are sister and brother, and are in fact a cow and chicken, but their “parents” are human. I put that in quotes only because their parents seemed to not have bodies, from the waist up. This show was really bizarre and somewhat disturbing, which is precisely why I like it. Obviously, this would probably not be live action.

9. Tigersharks. This also was developed by Rankin/Bass, who were responsible for the aforementioned Thundercats and Silverhawks. I called them chumps before, and they are, but, I would like to see a movie just so I could here someone cover that awesome, awesome theme song.

There has been many a movie based on the lives and careers of musicians and bands. More recently, The Runaways (about the band of the same name with Joan Jett and Lita Ford), Notorious (Notorious B.I.G.), What We Do is Secret (Germs). There are also some classics such as La Bamba (Ritchie Valens), Selena (Selena Quintanilla-Perez), Amadeus (Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Antonio Salieri) just to name a small few to demonstrate the broad range of musicians immortalized on film. On the flip side of this, there quite a bit of stories yet to be told with a well produced/directed/acted film. Because I am bored, I have compiled a small list of artists’ stories that I would like to see dramatized.

1. Ian MacKaye and the D.C. Hardcore scene. A movie about this could show the formation of possibly hundreds of bands that were a result of this scene or people involved in it. With Ian MacKay alone, you have Minor Threat, Fugazi, Teen Idles, Pailhead, Embrace and The Evens. Ian MacKaye’s Dischord record label put out some of the best music ever. We could see the origins of Henry Rollins’s music career, the first Emo band Rites of Spring, and many many other important events and people in music history.

2. Wu-Tang Clan. There is a documentary out there and a dramatic film “in the works,” but let’s get it done already. The Wu-Tang Clan has been around and revered long enough for a film to have already been made about them. I imagine the casting would be rough, finding 9 actors to play them, as I would only assume that they would have equal screen time. You would also have to cast Cappadonna, who “replaced” the late ODB while he was incarcerated. A lot of the Clan’s group albums as well as solo albums are some of the best rap/hip hop albums out there and most of the Clan has have quite successful solo careers.

3. Seattle Grunge Scene. While there is a movie by Gus Van Sant called Last Days, that may or may not be based on Kurt Cobain (look at a poster for it), I would like to see a film based on the band and that whole scene in general. Like the D.C. Hardcore scene, the Seattle scene was filled with musicians that band hopped, filled in for each other and seemed like a huge group of friends all jamming with each other rather than competing bands. We would see bands like Melvins, Mudhoney, Screaming Trees, Green River, Mother Love Bone, Pearl Jam and many other in this film. While I may disagree with the constant dissection and sub-categorization of music, especially spawned from the “Alternative” sub type, the fact remains that Nirvana is credited with causing a movement. I think it would make for an interesting study of how music was for the people involved in it prior to Smells Like Teen Spirit and then after. Some people became famous, while others remained underground.

4. Mötley Crüe. Sure. Go ahead and laugh. But this movie would have it all. Sex, drugs, lead singer killing someone in a car accident. I mean, these fucking guys INJECTED liquor. Read that sentence again. It doesn’t say ingested. INJECTED. Into their veins. Nikki Sixx and Ozzy Osbourne had a contest to see who to perform the sickest act! Are you kidding me?! Supposedly, The Dirt, based on the book, will be out in 2011, so hopefully it will satisfy my desire to see famous people destroy themselves.

5. Vanilla Ice. On second thought, no.

As a side note to this article, I was discussing the movie Last Days with Puck and our friend Phil, and his suggestion of a plot line of a film about Kurt Cobain was as follows: “Aaahhh, I’m singing, aaah, my stomach hurts, aaaah my wife’s a whore, aaaaah, boom.”

I can’t fathom how no one has yet to establish this in America. The US is one of the largest producers of films in the world as well as one of the largest populace of consumers of said movies. If the UK can do it, why the hell can’t we?

I’m talking about unlimited movie passes. No, Netflix (as awesome as they are) doesn’t count. I want a theater chain to come up with a totally unlimited movie pass letting me see as many movies as I can and see fit within one calender year. While discussing the future of this blog with my collaborator PBF, one of the points of contention was the fact that neither of us can see as many theatrical movies as we would like. The unlimited movie pass would fix all of that.

Now, I don’t expect it to be cheap but I do expect it to be cost-prohibitive for the casual movie-goers while giving us cinemanerds a good deal. Maybe $150-$250 for a 12 month span would be a good starting point provided there are not ridiculous restrictions like seating areas or valid times of day. While $300 may seem a bit steep, I figure that on average there are at least two movies per month that I want to see. If each movie is at the average cost of $8 per ticket, this is a cost of close to $200 per year at the pay-per-view rate. Therefore I can by my $200 unlimited pass, see the two movies per month I want to anyways and probably catch many more films, all the while adding to the theater’s bottom line with their deliciously, artery-hardening popcorn.

Not only will this increase theater concession sales, bring more people to see those stupid ads in front of the movies, and create more of an audience to spread the word to friends, I will get to see as many movies as I want. From where I sit, its a no-brainer. Let’s work on this Hollywood!

While I fully realize that a fourth movie adaptation to the popular video game franchise is in the works, I would love to see a movie based on the events of the fourth video game.

In RE4 as the cool kids call it, Leon Kennedy is sent to a quaint European village to rescue the stupid daughter of the United States President. He encounters there cult members who have had their bodies taken over by a parasite of some kind and who will stop at nothing to kill Leon before he rescues the damsel in distress. Many hi-jinks ensue with Leon battling chainsaw-wielding maniacs, big baddies in lakes and castles, and some creepy guy trying to sell things in dark alleys. While it has been a while since I’ve last played the game, that’s about the gist of the story. And it’s fan-freakin-tastic.

Playing the game, I thought how cool would it be for a zombie movie (or any horror movie in general) to capture the atmosphere and mood of this game. At any time, around any corner could be some psycho with a machete or a flaming arrow aimed at your head. You find yourself low on ammo, having to rely on whatever you have at hand to fend off the attackers and escape without serious injury. You escape one village full of the infected to go straight to an abandoned bunker, or old mansion, or dock stocked with these “things.”

If a writer were to merely write all the levels on postcards, mount them to a bulletin board, and throw darts aimlessly at it, I can almost guarantee a decent to great movie depending on the talent behind the scenes. So, while the film series of Resident Evil may be decent (admittedly I haven’t seen any of them with little desire to), they certainly cannot match the palpable tension in RE4. I dare you Hollywood to make a film of this.

I double-dog dare you!

Ghostbusters 3. Let’s make this happen. I want this to happen so bad, that I would cross the streams. Well, what’s the hold up? Well, for one, Rick Moranis won’t do it. Also, Sigourney Weaver keeps flip flopping (see Rick Moranis link). And as you can see, via the same link again, appranently, there is no confirmed director, either. Here, however is an interview with Ernie Hudson with a bit of info in it, stating that Ivan Reitman has confirmed it will happen and mentions when shooting will begin and when the movie will be out. I love this franchise, even with the second one being stricken with the Weekend at Bernie’s Effect. While I have read some interesting and even good ideas for what the 3rd one should be about, I will not weigh in with my opinion on that. I will leave that to the professionals. I can say that I would rather not see “new ghostbusters” being handed the keys, as it were, but I understand that people are older. So if it has to be done that way, hopefully it will be tasteful. And can we not cheese out at the end with some random Jackie Wilson song that everyone sings to combat the “bad feelings?” That was a bit gay.