George: A Zombie Intervention (or George’s Intervention) comes to us via Breaking Glass Pictures. It’s quite an interesting take on the genre, but poorly executed.

The film opens with an educational film shown to school children. The opening was actually quite clever. It serves as exposition to us, and is meant to teach children the facts about zombies. Zombies have become members of society. So much so that there is a zombie technical support line.  There are spores in the air that humans inhale. The spores lie dormant until the human dies. The spores then wake up and keep the brain functioning thus turning the human into a zombie. Not mindless Romero zombies. Rather, they simply remain their former selves, and are self aware that they are the undead. Unlike your typical film zombies, shooting them in the head does not kill them. It only makes them brain dead which turns them into the standard flesh seeking walkers. They only way to kill a zombie in this universe is to dismember them and burn them.

After the introduction, we see a group of friends having a pre-intervention for their friend George. He has a bit of an addiction problem. Much like you may have seen on television (or perhaps in an actual intervention), the friends are tasked to write down how George’s addiction has affected them. They arrive the next day at George’s home and he is quite resistant. George is a zombie, and he eats people. His friends plead with him to stop but he does not want to. As the group takes a break, people begin to be killed and George tries to eat them. One of George’s friends thinks that they are having a party, so George is constantly interrupted by guests arriving. He throws his victims in the basement to eat later.

This film is purposefully over the top. The gore is excessive and that’s fine. The problem is that there is an obvious attempt to make the film seem realistic at the same time, which places emphasis on its flaws. The performances are quite sub par, especially with the constant eye rolling and face acting.  Right away as the friends arrive at the pre-intervention, they act as if they hate each other. So there was a bit of confusion as to why they are friends since they were all acting like jerks. This eventually changes as Sarah reveals that she likes Ben, and we learn that Steve is just a general dick.

The most bothersome thing in this film is George’s house. It’s like a billion square feet. No one in the house knows where anyone is and can’t hear the constant bludgeoning of guests, even after the loud music is turned off. The house also is apparently self cleaning, as blood seems to disappear from the floor.

There also is some inconsistency as one zombie discovers that he has no pulse and cannot feel pain and therefore must be dead, but in another scene, a zombie complains that being shot hurts.

The film was definitely entertaining, and some of the dialogue was quite humorous. However, most of the time is was poorly written and badly delivered. And not in  a funny, quirky, Army of Darkness type way.

The very end is probably the funniest thing about the film. It is a “commercial” for a zombie rehab clinic and shows zombie supports groups and George eating Tofu Flesh.

The concept of the film is quite clever, and there are definitely some great moments. Very reminiscent of Dead Alive as far as style. I recommend a viewing, but must say that there is a lot to suffer through to get to the enjoyable parts.

Without watching, and thinking of, the two back to back, it is easy to miss the similarities between John Carpenter’s Halloween and George Romero‘s Night of the Living Dead. Both were made by a bunch of amateur filmmakers on a minuscule price tag and both are highly regarded, not only in horror films, but in their respective sub-genres.

Romero helped define the modern zombie as we know, and despise, it today. Previously, zombies were not autonomous flesh-eating beings, but pawns by some voodoo priest from some exotic locale. Now, zombie is not only a term for mindless folk enacting a set routine consistently (we’ll get to Shaun of the Dead soon enough) but also deadly slow (or fast depending on the movie) “people” out for blood by way of whatever reason is given or not. In fact, just like Halloween, the gist of the film (people trapped in a confined space battling deadies) has been done and done again to the point that it seems cliched. Night being the start, and to some extent the apex, of zombie films though takes this mere plot summary and does wonders with it.

Romero likes to say that his original film is not really a piece of social commentary on race relations in the 1960s, but given his proclivity for shoehorning other commentary in films that are not worthy of it (cough … Diary of the Dead), I find that hard to believe. That point notwithstanding, Night is a clever film, not only for its subject matter but also for its production technique. Much has been written about the guerrilla-style filmmaking used during this production and it is remarkable especially since the low-budget-ness does more to engulf you in the zombie phenomenon than other similar films can pull off with big budget set pieces and makeup.

Even though I’ve seen the 1990 remake more than this, the original Night has a certain charm that exudes during every minute. Starting with poor, meek Barbara and her obnoxious brother Johnny at the cemetery to Ben and Cooper’s introduction at the old farmhouse, this film features realistic characters who do not necessarily fall into the Hollywood trap of painting them as extremes. Cooper is kind of an ass but he is not necessarily dangerous, just scared and stupid. Ben is not a hero, more of a poor guy stuck in bad circumstances who has to take charge. Everything about them (even the almost comatose Barbara) feels genuine, not some character written by committee.

The final third of the film is exhilarating with constant threats from both inside and outside as the human occupants come to blows and the zombies come closer and closer to their feast. It would be an understatement to say the ending is a downer but it fits the rest of the film perfectly. The excellence performances, mostly from Duane Jones and Karl Hardman, and especially the go-for-broke attitude of Romero and his crew set this apart as a horror film that will live on much longer than its undead antagonists.

The upside to having a terrible memory: I can see a film I’d only seen maybe once before years ago and not remember a damn thing about it. Downside to having a terrible memory: well, the same. It was not even a year ago that I watched and reviewed [REC] and while the main gist of the story and some of the bigger sequences still stick out, a lot of the movie is a total wash from my brain. Apparently, there was a religion angle in the first that I would have loved to have the faintest recollection of in watching [REC] 2. At the very least, the first twenty minutes would not have been so jarring.

Just like the original (and its remake Quarantine), [REC] 2 takes place inside an apartment building somewhere in Spain with this installment kicking into gear almost immediately after the first ends. The first wave of responders inside the building have not been heard from. A group of SWAT members are called in to escort a doctor inside to check the status. Let’s just say that things turn pretty bad quickly. Considering that they are going into a building filled with zombies/infected/whatever, this should not be surprising. What is surprising rather, is how quickly the sequel turns the original on its head. I would rather say “betrays the original” but that has a negative connotation that I don’t wish to imply.

I spoke of this on our latest podcast but “found footage” movies typically engage me in the story much more than traditional narratives. Except Diary of the Dead; I have to throw that caveat in there. For nothing else, seeing unrecognizable people in a pretty horrifying situation is more akin to seeing something unfold right outside your door than watching a movie. This film was no different. Given that it is a sequel literally starting from the end of its predecessor, there is really no build-up to the threat since it is assumed that we already know what is at stake. While this does not do some of the one-dimensional characters any good, it makes for an intense film since only a few minutes are spent with the characters not directly in harm’s way.

Well, intense except for the jarring halfway point of the movie in which I swear directors Jaume Balagueró and Paco Plaza were trying to emulate Romero’s disastrous found footage zombie-a-thon. In reading some other reviews, I suppose I understand the point to break away from the established characters but it did not work well in the context of the film. Again, without giving too much, the movie shifts from the SWAT group to a couple of kids and a fireman who break into the building. It is all well and good until the second group (in fairness, not really knowing what is going on inside) basically broadcasts their desire to be a zombie/infected/whatever buffet. They are stupid and worthless characters and really do nothing to help the story other than upping the victim potential.

While I was baffled at the direction the story took, it is done well to expand upon the original without resorting to just different people in the same situation. I question the worth of having a SWAT member exist solely to hold a camera and film the events but it has a good enough reason. Most everything else in the film is engrossing, especially with the various twists shown in the brief 80-odd minute runtime. It would seem that Spain has no shortage of talented actors that I haven’t seen before so that should bode well for the upcoming [REC] 3 and 4 even if (judging from this film’s release) we won’t see them for some time.

In yet another porn to mainstream transition, adult film star Alexis Texas stars in Bloodlust Zombies. This film is sort of a piss poor combination of Office Space and Zombieland. And porno. It arrives on DVD on July 5th.

So there is this office building. In the building there is a lab where some kind of chemical is being developed and tested. At the beginning of the film, all we know about it is that it seems to make house cats insane. The boss and Andrea (Texas) are having sex when they accidentally tun the office intercom system on. The entire building can hear the fornication and react by laughing and/or mimicking sexual positions. Why, even the serious minded lab workers join in the fun and accidentally cause a spill. Someone gets bitten by an insane house cat test subject and BAM! There’s your outbreak. So, to be more factual, these would be blood lust infected, not zombies. It is later explained that the chemical was actually designed to be used in wars as a biochemical weapon. The intent was to administer it to our enemies, and they would become infected and kill each other. As a result of the spill, the building immediately goes on lock down; electronic door locks do not work, main power goes out. This goes on for a 25 minute period. During this 25 minutes, the nerdy scientist office workers turn into some kind of zombie dispatching commando unit, hurling bullets and bad jokes all over the place.

Now, you may be saying to yourself, “Hey. I like Office Space. I like Zombieland. I like porno. Surely the melding of these concepts would go together like a delicious sub sandwich that was just invented in a test kitchen.” Fucking incorrect.

There just isn’t much in this film that is very good. Not even the nudity is enough to make anyone care. The acting is excruciating. The comedy is not funny. The effects are weak at best. I didn’t care about one person in this thing, so it didn’t matter who lived or died. There is a security guard who is apparently related to Dante Hicks as he keeps repeating how he isn’t supposed to be there today. Even the music gets tired and annoying. There is a hand print on my forehead as I pretty much spent the entire film watching it with my head in my hand.

The one (and I mean one) thing that I liked was the idea of the zombie (infected) apocalypse being confined to one place where no one could escape. But all the boring bad comedians I had to deal with completely ruined that.

As you well know, we here at Movie Scum embrace the indie movie. There are some great pictures that were made on the flimsiest of budgets. You should run from this film. Run like it’s the infected.

The guys from United Front Gaming join us for a rousing discussion of zombies, stupid movie characters and why we hate M. Night Shyamalan.

Get yo’ movie on!

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“Is that blood on your Zombie?”

For my first review, I thought I’d choose a movie about a subject very near and dear to my heart: Zombies. This is a quaint, heartwarming movie about a young boy named Timmy Robinson (Kesun Loder), his parents, and his beloved pet, Fido. Timmy and Fido go the park, take walks, etc. Timmy gets picked on by bullies and Fido saves the day. Oh, I forgot to mention……Fido is a zombie.

The beginning of the movie explains that the zombie war/apocalypse has already taken place, humanity has taken the majority of control over the situation, and everyone’s lives can return back to normal…ish. The corporation Zomcon has invented a collar that renders the zombies docile and semi-functional, allowing them to be controlled and used as house servants. All this takes place in 1950’s America, with all the trappings you’d expect: the music, brightly colored houses with white picket fences, and prejudices against anything different than yourself. This time though, instead of minorities we have zombies.

The writers of this film are to be applauded. They have blended drama, horror, comedy, and disturbingly enough, romance into one film, and quite smoothly. None of these elements ever feels piecemeal or thrown in. The direction and cinematography is excellent, this film was shot beautifully. Everything looks exactly how it should. There was a lot of care taken to make this movie seem like a Lassie Movie, just tweaked a bit and substitute a zombie for Lassie. Yes, even the classic “What is it boy?” questioning is there, adding to the similarity. But the joke never feels forced. For a zombie movie, Fido is fairly light on gore but it doesn’t need it. The acting and line delivery is spot on. You can imagine taking anyone here and transplant them into Leave it to Beaver, Lassie, etc and their characters would still fit in. Save Fido, of course.

Fido is played by Billy Connolly and gives the role of the zombie slave depth and emotion. Timmy’s parents are Helen and Bill Robinson (Carrie-Anne Moss and Dylan Baker). Helen is a homemaker, strangely intrigued by the zombies and seeing all of her neighbors getting undead servants, has to have one. Bill however is terrified of them due to past experience, but reluctantly agrees and makes the purchase. Also in the mix is Mr. Bottoms (Henry Czerny), hero of the zombie war, and agent of Zomcon. Lastly we have Mr. Theopolis (Tim Blake Nelson), the neighborhood kook, which creepily keeps a zombie girlfriend, but is likable enough otherwise.

I loved Fido; it’s now one of my new favorite movies. It’s dark comedy done very well, and I admit … I do love zombies, so bonus points for that.

My first impression of this film was that it was like a zombie film made specifically for Cinemax to air at around 3am. There was plenty of (somewhat justified) nudity almost immediately. However, it vanished just a quickly as it had come. FYI: If you are going to make a marginally engaging film, try not to blow your nudity wad all in the first 15 minutes. It leaves nothing much else to pay attention to.

Brain Dead, directed by Kevin Tenney, doesn’t really show us anything new in its zombie story. Not that it is trying to. It’s the story of 6 random people (actually, 3 random groups of 2 people) who for one reason or another end up in an empty fishing lodge. We have Bob and Clarence, who are brothers and escaped prisoners. They arrive first, and end up holding the others hostage. Next to arrive are Claudia and Sherry, who were hiking and swimming naked. Last is Reverend Farnsworth and his assistant Amy. The Reverend would like to pork his assistant. What these people don’t know as they arrive at the cabin is that there are zombies lurking about. A space “amoeba” shot into a local fisherman’s head and promptly turned him in to a zombie host body. He in turn killed his buddy, and so on. Later in the film it is “figured out” that the parasites find a host body and then eat brains until they can reproduce. Reproduction involves a zombie vomiting a black oily substance onto someone. The substance (another parasite) enters the body and another zombie is born. Eventually these zombies make their way to the cabin.

So, if the film wasn’t made to show us anything new, why was it made? Just to be purely entertainment? Sure, I can buy that. The writing wasn’t completely terrible and I laughed out loud a couple of times. The acting sure was a mixed bag. No one was bad enough to make me wince. There were a couple of cool scenes. You ever watched a movie where someone punches another person through the chest and rips their heart out? Imagine that scene but instead of the chest, it was the head, and instead of the heart it was the brain. That was a pretty entertaining scene, yes. There is plenty of gore for those of us who like that, but it was well placed and not that over the top.

The biggest problem with this film is that it focuses largely on character interaction, and these people were complete bores. I either didn’t care about them or they were complete assholes. In that case, you would think they would be dispatched rather quickly so we could enjoy their demise, but no. I was forced to listen to sometimes barely tolerable dialogue and questionable decision making. Compounding that is the involvement of women whom I had already seen completely naked, thus during their scenes I would drift off to those earlier parts of the film, as nothing they were doing or saying was interesting.

I was intrigued with how the film ended; it was an interesting and comical choice, and it worked for me, given the silliness of the film overall.

This is a zombie film rife with varying degrees of comedy and purely exists as a “fun” ride. Nothing more. Honestly, how fun the ride is, will be completely determined by the mood of the viewer. I didn’t hate it.

I wasn’t sure how much entertainment I would derive from Zombie Strippers. Even though it came recommended by Movie Scum friend Kat, I’ve seen too many low-budget (and big-budget for that matter) zombie movies that are completely forgettable due to many filmmakers’ use of clichéd zombie tropes or laughable production values or horrendous acting. Zombie Strippers delivers more than I expected but not without a number of gripes.

Considering the title and the presence of “adult entertainment” star Jenna Jameson, you might not be surprised to see equal amounts of nudity as in a late-night Skinemax movie. I wonder if the grand plan of writer/director Jay Lee was to make a soft-core porno but include zombies to increase the sales potential. Through the poorly attempted satiric prologue, we learn that George W. Bush is President for a fourth term, public nudity has been banned, and science has created a virus to reanimate fallen soldiers. When the virus is unleashed, an infected “soldier” makes his way to the most conducive place to work off a zombie bug: an underground strip joint run by Robert Englund. The soldier (ironically named Birdflough) bites Jameson, turns her into a zombie, mayhem ensues.

If Lee had intended for his movie to be taken seriously, it would have been a disaster. Fortunately, he takes the low road and creates a story that is incredibly dumb and illogical, yet in a strangely fascinating way. We never really get a good reason why normal people bitten by zombies turn into the normal undead yet the strippers when bitten are able to retain their memories, personality (or lack thereof in some cases), and the ability to talk. All these questions are momentarily forgiven though when the new undead exotic dancers proudly exclaim “I’m gonna dance!”

I haven’t been impressed with his output over the past few years but Robert Englund does a decent enough job as the flamboyant, germaphobic club owner. Even though he brings his familiar Krueger vibe, he has some pretty funny lines especially as he goes way over-the-top later in the movie as more zombie carnage occurs. Jameson and the girls are okay but to be honest, are we really expecting Oscar-worthy performances out of them? The rest of the acting though is pretty much garbage especially the clichéd Russian stripper wrangler who keeps getting American idioms wrong and Paco, the cappuccino-skinned cleaning guy who is only around for Hispanic stereotype purposes.

The comedy in this movie was all over the place from odd but still funny lines (“Get away, you walking herpe”) to visual gags like the recoil of the nudie bar as Jameson performs her first dance with half of her throat missing. Sure, some of it falls flat but what doesn’t is primarily due to the delivery which too is wildly inaccurate. And for some reason, Lee thought it necessary to include homages to other completely random movies like Blazing Saddles (twice!), Warriors, and … Starship Troopers? Whatever. For a movie that was budgeted pretty low I would assume, the production values were okay but I enjoyed the effects as they too are pretty absurd but mostly all practical. It almost reminded me of Dead Alive in that aspect but then again I feel that is sacrilegious to Peter Jackson.

The story though and especially the pacing needed work as the movie starts and stops at a moments notice and lingers on ideas not bad to begin with but awful when drawn out (i.e. ping pong and billiard balls shot from a dancer’s … wahoo). Honestly, the entire concept is notable but pretty thin and would have been more satisfying with a short 70 or 80 minute movie. While I cannot in good faith recommend you watch it, chances are if you do, there will be something to your liking.

Land of the Dead is the last Romero “Of the Dead” film before the series gets sort of rebooted with Diary of the Dead. Coincidentally (or perhaps not),  it is the last one that was fairly decent the whole time.

The dead now outnumber the living. In Pittsburg, most, if not all of the survivors have fled to the city. The city is enclosed by rivers and an electric fence, which is patrolled by military. Within the city is Fiddler’s Green which is where the rich dwell. It has luxury living, a mall, restaurants. Outside of Fiddler’s Green is where the poor people live. People are hungry, ill, and cannot afford medicine. Riley Denbo (Simon Baker), possibly the prettiest man of the zombie apocalypse, and Cholo DeMora (John Leguizamo) are the commander and second in command (respectively) of the Dead Reckoning. The Dead Reckoning is a gigantic mobile assault vehicle that is used to travel out in to the apocalypse to retrieve supplies (food, medical, etc) and distribute them to the poor back in the city. The vehicle has armor, multiple cameras, an arsenal of weapons and can fire fireworks or “sky flowers” in to the air. The zombies are fascinated by the fireworks and will stare at them rather than feeding. One zombie, who was a gas station attendant, seems to have broken the hypnosis that ensues and starts communicating with other zombies. Eventually they become unaffected by the fireworks and even learn to fire weapons. The “lead” zombie then zombie convinces the rest of the undead to follow him toward the city. Denbo and DeMora have decided that this night will be their last night commanding the Reckoning. Denbo will take his car to Canada, and DeMora will try to get his place in Fiddler’s Green. He brings cigars and champagne to Kaufman (Dennis Hopper), the man who runs the city (and whom DeMora has been working for) and explains that he has saved enough money to move in to Fiddler’s Green. Kaufman declines his request, and fires him. Pissed, DeMora then takes the Dead Reckoning with the crew (sans Denbo) out of the city. He tells Kaufman (who has not paid him for his services) that unless he gives him $5 million, he will blow up the city. Unwilling to negotiate, Kaufman hires Denbo to retrieve the Reckoning and DeMora, either alive or dead. Denbo, Charlie (burned by a fire, slightly retarded) and Slack (hooker, played by Asia Argetno) were all arrested following a shootout. Denbo agrees to the job under the condition that Charlie and Slack go with him. Kaufman agrees and further supplies him with three more people: Manolete, Motwotwn and Pillsbury. As they head out of the city to find DeMora, the ever evolving zombies move toward the city.

Perhaps it was my disdain for the last 2 I watched (Diary and Survival) that cause me to come in to this with no expectations and a little bit distracted. Whether it was that or sloppy story telling, it took a few minutes for me to get a grasp hold of what was going on. There are a lot of story elements to keep up with and they don’t entirely connect in to fluidity until the Reckoning is stolen. Even though this made for a choppy pace, the story is quite intriguing and engages you enough to still understand it until it picks up. Again, social commentary abounds, and I find it interesting (and quite believable) that even after a zombie outbreak, humans would still be separated by class.

The film is certainly better acted than the following 2 (which for some reason I viewed before this one) and the zombies are still somewhat frightening, much like the social structure they are attempting to destroy (eat the rich!). The film is simply well balanced in all aspects, something that is definitely lacking in Diary and Survival.

I am actually more angry at Diary and Survival now having watched this. It really would have been interesting to see how far evolved the zombies become, and what happens as a result. This is abandoned with the regression in timeline (despite the use of Alan Van Sprang who plays 2 different military characters throughout all 3 films), although in Survival, the inhabitants of Plum Island are attempting to make the zombies “learn.” I questioned the significance of doing that in my review of Survival, as they were merely being taught to eat animals rather than humans. However, in Land, they are learning on their own, and their attack of the living takes on a more personal meaning as they are attacking the humans that are attacking them, and not simply looking for flesh to eat (eventually). This could have led to a more organic co existence (rather than forced, as in Survival). For example, the zombies may have turned to only dispatching dickheads, instead of everyone. Or it could have led to a smarter zombie that eventually was responsible for the complete eradication of the human race. All of this is moot, as we are left with 2 of the worst zombie installments ever. Better luck next film.

Zombies have been enjoying a lot of popularity in recent years. They have essentially taken the place of Nazis as the new go-to movie villains. Of course, we all have George Romero to thank for the common depiction of zombies in pop culture today. (often called Romero-zombies) Out of his Living Dead series of films, Day of the Dead is my personal favorite. When the movie begins, the world is already overrun with undead; it’s more of a zombie post-apocalypse film. In fact, our small group of survivors are relatively safe and secure in an underground military compound outside of the Florida Everglades, at least from zombies. The humans in this film are divided among scientists, how are trying to find a way to make the zombie population docile so order can be restored, the military, who are tentatively supporting the scientists’ efforts but are getting impatient with the lack of results, and a few civilians that provide indispensable skills like John (Terry Alexander) who is a helicopter pilot and Bill (Jarlath Conroy) who looks like Mr. Bean. We see most of the story through the eyes of Sarah (Lori Cardille) who assists head scientist Dr. Logan (Richard Liberty) as he studies and experiments on undead that the soldiers have captured and corralled within the tunnel. As this research has led to not concrete method of pacifying or otherwise defeating the legions of zombies on the surface, the ranking officer Captain Rhodes (Joe Pilato) is losing patience with the science team and becoming increasingly more confrontational. At one memorable point early on, he even threatens to shot Sarah in the head if she disobeys his order to sit down.

Dr. Logan’s experiments end up showing some results, as he runs test with a zombie he has dubbed ‘Bud’ (Sherman Howard) that seems to be more tame than most other undead. Bud actually shows that he retains some memory of his former life when he reacts to objects like a telephone, a facial razor, and a gun and apparently knows how to use each one. Sarah soon finds out that Dr. Logan has been using a positive reinforcement technique with Bud, feeding him fresh flesh when he reacts in a manner that the doctor likes. This meat, however, is coming from Captain Rhodes’ soldiers that had dies previously that were kept in cold storage, and when Rhodes finds out about it, he goes through the roof and threatens to shut everything down and abandon the science team. Things soon fall apart as the zombies being held inside the base break their bonds and run amuck and only a select few people manage to escape with their lives. What I love about this story is that both the scientific head and the militaristic head were completely corrupt and neither were able to find a solution. Usually in science fiction or horror type movies like this, it is the scientists that eventually discover a very simple solution or a complex plan that eventually defeats a world ending threat. The military is often impotent when it comes to stopping such a threat, but here, both sides are equally incapable, and the zombies end up the winner. All any of the humans can do is try to survive.