I could have sworn I read about a Farmville movie being planned but now I cannot find anything of it. Yes, Farmville. The flash-based Facebook game in which one manages a virtual farm, tending to crops, animals, and annoying people constantly asking to be neighbors and posting things on your Facebook wall is destined to be a movie at some point.

In fact, I would be shocked if a Farmville movie does not get made but if one does, we can assume it would follow in the tone of the game, innocent and annoying. However, I see a great potential to make a movie, backed by the Farmville popularity, yet twisted and horrifying. I would like the basic plot to go something like this.

• City boy moves to the country to look after a farm, preferrably one previously tended by a creepy member of his extended family
• Said farm has magical properties in which crops grow in less than a day
• A little black cat wanders onto the farm, cursing the new caretaker
• Strange folks nearby start turning up with random gifts of nails and bricks, wanting a piece of the magical property
• When the city boy refuses, things turn deadly

Throw in a little torture and unexplained happenings and we have a decent movie going! Far better than one more closely based on the game I would argue. Hell, maybe this is the one video game movie Uwe Boll couldn’t fuck up! He probably still would though.