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Paramount is Officially Out of Ideas


The following exchange took place in an episode from season 4 of the great Seinfeld.

TIMMY: What are you doing?
TIMMY: Did … did you just double-dip that chip?
GEORGE: Excuse me?
TIMMY: You double-dipped the chip!
GEORGE: “Double-dipped”? What are you talking about?
TIMMY: You dipped the chip. You took a bite. And you dipped again.
TIMMY: That’s like putting your whole mouth right in the dip! From now on, when you take a chip – just take one dip and end it!
GEORGE: Well, I’m sorry, Timmy … but I don’t dip that way. [George takes a chip]
TIMMY: Oh, you don’t, huh?
GEORGE: No. [dips the chip] You dip the way you want to dip … [takes a bite of the chip] I’ll dip the way I want to dip. [double-dips the chip]
TIMMY: Give me the chip! [Grabs George and the chip goes flying.] Give me the chip! [George and Timmy start to struggle.]

This, ladies and gentlemen is what I imagine the executives at Paramount (and many, many other production companies as well) converse about.

“I received an excellent script with a great director and a cast already attached. It could be big.” – Random Peon

“Fuck it, we make movies about robots fornicating and in the meantime, we dig up our long and aging useless properties and force them down the throats of the stupid American public.” – Studio Exec

And that my friends is exactly what Paramount is planning as reports that Paramount is not only a sequel to Top Gun that I know everyone was clamoring for but also a reboot of Beverly Hills Cop, presumably since the likely crappy pilot got passed on.

Color me surprised that Hollywood hack Jerry Bruckheimer has finally found a project to come out of the boat for.

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