Why did I not have a desire to see Warrior when it was in theaters? The stellar-looking cast including Tom Hardy and Joel Edgerton didn’t hurt but perhaps it was the seemingly overwrought story of two estranged brothers who each are fighting against each other for whichever predetermined important reason. (Was that even supposed to be a surprise in the final act? Because it’s all over the trailer!) Or perhaps Warrior didn’t strike my fancy since I am hardly a sports fanatic even though the brutality and testosterone-y aspects of MMA are pretty cool. Yet, all it took was one of my colleagues saying “You’ll want to tackle someone while watching it” that got me on board. For the record, he was right.

Even if you are Amish or have short-term memory problems, or have otherwise not seen the entire narrative spoiled in the previews, the story in Warrior is so expected that you can see it coming from two summers ago. Hardy plays Tommy Conlon, an angry and bitter man who has suffered through many hardships in life, many from his estranged father Paddy (Nick Nolte) who was drunk and abusive before finding religion and sobriety. Edgerton plays Brendan Conlon, brother to Tommy, who left his family at sixteen to be with his would-be wife. Brendan has not seen Tommy since then and is still hesitant about any contact with his father.

Tommy’s past is a mystery since he is emotionally withdrawn and does not talk about it to anyone, especially his prying father. We learn in bits and pieces about him fleeing with his mother only to watch her painfully die later on as well as his heroics in the military and a promise made to the widow of one of his fallen compadres. Brendan on the other hand has a beautiful wife and two girls but is in a bad financial situation to the point that he is about to be removed from his house without a substantial amount of money. With that, both brothers sign up for a MMA tournament against fourteen other top fighters in the world for a chance to win $5 million.

It is odd that a film like The Fighter, which is good but very predictable, can be nominated for Best Picture along with a slew of other awards and the only Oscar nomination for Warrior goes to Nolte. Granted, Nolte is great with his performance as the outside man desperately seeking redemption from his remaining family. He carries the knowledge of his past failures and is humbled because of them but both sons mostly cast him aside except for Tommy who clearly specifies he needs Paddy as a trainer and nothing else. Hardy also turns in a criminally under-appreciated performance as Tommy who hides years of physical and emotional trauma behind a steely facade with nothing but rage and aggression poking through when he is in the cage.

Rounding out the trio of emotionally scarred Conlon men is Edgerton as Brendan who I first noticed and became a fan of from Animal Kingdom. Edgerton’s character has a good amount of time devoted to him but his character lacks the stress of Tommy or the rejection of Paddy rendering Brendan the more plain character out of the three. He still does a remarkable job though as Brendan is the underdog throughout the process and is given the most material to sympathize with. For most of the film, Tommy comes off almost as an ungrateful punk who doesn’t give a damn about anyone so connecting with him is a bit more difficult.

Even though the story seems a tad unoriginal, co-writer and director Gavin O’Connor infuses the film with so much energy that I feel comfortable in saying that you too will want to tackle someone at parts of the movie. The fight scenes, of which there are many, never feel overly staged or choreographed and the typical handheld camera shots are not overdone to risk confusing you as to what is going on. Punctuating the fight scenes are conversations between Tommy and his father, Brendan and his wife, and so forth but those don’t feel like filler or padding the way some sports movies throw in “heavy” scenes. Even if you are not a fan of martial arts or sports movies, it is close to impossible to watch this film and not get teary-eyed when appropriate or otherwise invested in the characters. I haven’t seen a lot of the heavily lauded films from last year so I can’t proclaim this is the best but I am disheartened that this top-notch drama did not receive a bit more recognition.

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows picks up close to where the last one left off. Holmes (Robert Downy Jr.) has spent an untold amount of time between films piecing together a continent wide conspiracy. With Watson (Jude Law) getting married, Holmes knows he has to finagle him into also being interested in the conspiracy. There have been bombings throughout Europe and Holmes concludes that his arch nemesis, Professor Moriarty (Jared Harris) is behind them. He safely stops one bomb just for the mark to be assassinated none the less by the hit man. During Watson’s bachelor party, Holmes sets out to collect more clues. Enter Noomi Rapace (The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo) as Madam Simza, the soothsayer. Fighting ensues and a disastrous and drunk evening winds up with a disheveled Watson late for his wedding the following day. Holmes is used to being the smartest man in the chase until he tangles again with Moriarty. The professor is always two steps ahead and not shy of grand gestures to aid Holmes in meeting his maker even if innocents are hurt. The great reveal comes with Moriarty admitting that even if he didn’t start the world war he was fine taking the world over financially with supplying the weapons to maintain the wars’ destructiveness. Throughout the film, the history is slightly tweaked to fit the plot and help the audience make sense of it all. The climax and confrontation is set (where else would it be in a comic book style storyline) at the Summit Meeting between the nations.

Downy’s performance is successful in delivering the quirky, intelligent, animated, lovable performance that we received from the first film. With Law bringing his cynical, realistic outlook on life attitude back they are a match still made in heaven. There’s been some time since such a male pair shared such charisma and elegance on screen together. They both put their best feet forward. The only downside, for the writing more so than performance, is there was no depth given to Holmes’ character. There were instances where you know there is going to be more than his intellectual insanity but it fell away as quick as it appeared. Watson seemed to see through the exterior but it was never delved into further than him acknowledging non-verbally that it there. Frustratingly, there is an entire underdeveloped subplot with Watson being married at the end of their adventure that would have left Sherlock alone in the flat which could have been used to really define Sherlock’s need for companionship. The loneliness behind his smile should have been given some room to be explored. However, It was still a very well put together action film.

Noomi’s character should have been given more of a role than just a plot device as her talent was not used to the best of her ability. I guess when coming from such a spectacular trilogy maybe it was a personal choice to cross over to the American cinema with this type of role. She is not bad by any means and she still works well with what she was given but there should have been more provided for her character. When you take such a strong actor and give them a mediocre role it shadows their true talent. Harris kicks in the door with his performance. I have never loved and hated a character so much. He is a genius in his evil, super villain with pizzazz role. You began to root for him and his despicably absurd ploy for financial world domination. With what we know of Moriarty I was shocked that it look so long for the hand-to-hand combat to come. His devilishly handsome and overly confident self meets Holmes move for move to leave us holding our breath as they get close to the edge of the falls.

The entire film is action and adventure sprinkled with dialogue and great direction. There are moments like when they get to the Summit that seem a little dragged out to make up for too many fighting sequences. The attention to detail is lacking in the action sequences and some may never notice but I did. Sherlock Holmes resides in Britain for most of his life, so why is it that he has an Eastern fighting style? I understand it is what most movie goers these days expect but that little anachronism changes the way I see the Guy Ritchie franchise of the great detective. It is why there is so much action in the movie bringing the film more current than the actual setting to appease the audiences. If some of the extraneous scenes were dropped the two-hour-plus movie wouldn’t have felt more like three. Ritchie stayed true to his form with the slow motion this-is-what-went-down technique and flash backs to cover what had previously happened but was skipped temporarily in the film. Over all it was a very enjoyable film and I would say it is slightly better than the original but sets expectations higher for a third installment to set itself apart from this film.

Let me just start off by saying how thankful I am that there is not another colon before the ‘Ghost Protocol’ subtitle. I think that would irritate me beyond belief, potentially to the point of not even doing a review at all. Whew. Crisis averted. Now as far as big-budget action franchises go, M:I has always been all over the place for me (and a lot of folk by the ratings and reviews). The first had its moments but was decried by some for its handling of establish characters from the TV series. I didn’t care about that so much but it had long stretches of nothing that my 14-year-old brain didn’t like. M:I 2 was much the same but with far too little talky parts and far too many random explosions and whiplash-inducing edits. M:I 3 I rather liked but I’ve only ever seen that once, on TNT or something, at 3 in the morning. So I’m not too qualified to make a firm declaration on that one.

As Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol got underway at the helm of Brad Bird (you know, the awesome director from likely your favorite Pixar films) and Jeremy Renner joining the cast, I was tempted from the start. The initial, and somewhat ongoing, talk was that Renner’s character Brandt was likely to take over for Captain Insano himself for any future installments. Anything that results in less Tom Cruise in my life is always a good thing. Sadly, I did not get to see this in IMAX which means that I didn’t get the DKR prologue (damn!) nor to experience some of the moments that others raved about. I can certainly imagine that those scenes would have been quite amazing in IMAX but I don’t think that the lack of a super-huge screen detracted from my enjoyment … at least not as much as the story.

At the start. we find Ethan Hunt (Insano Cruise himself) stuck in a Russian prison as the team of Jane (Paula Patton) and Benji (the returning Simon Pegg) are attempting to break him out. Of course they succeed since the opening credits have not even begun and Hunt is quickly thrust into a mission to retrieve files from the Kremlin. Things go awry, the Kremlin blows up, and the US government initiates ‘Ghost Protocol’ which is not a version of Call of Duty, but the shuttering of IMF and basically stranding Hunt and his team on their own with a new IMF analyst, Brandt (Renner) tagging along.

If you’ve seen Alias, any James Bond film, or most any other “spy/covert action” movie, you could probably guess there is a deranged man with a major weapon that requires the team to travel to exotic locales to track down clues and contacts and ultimately stop World War III. As far as the story goes, there really is not a lot of new ground broken in this installment sadly. Please do not mistake the rote steps I described for boring as writers Josh Appelbaum and André Nemec use those genre tentpoles as effectively as possible while transitioning between the exposition and the action very seemlessly. Unlike another recent action-y/spy thriller Salt, the big sequences and showdowns feel naturally inserted into the story instead of a loose plot written around said sequences.

Bird as director deserves a lot of credit for this as well. Perhaps the many years managing the doubtlessly painstaking process of an average Pixar film is a much better training camp for action directors than say, music videos and commercials. Ghost Protocol is almost the antithesis of a Michael Bay film as you actually have a firm grasp of the setting and the blocking so you can tell what the hell is going on. Those transitions between the dialogue and the action and then back again are quite fluid for lack of a better word which is more desirable than the typical “throw in as many cuts as possible to confuse the audience into liking it” sense that seems to permeate action films nowadays.

Since 1996, Cruise has been the face of the M:I series so that sadly has not changed for now but he does well-enough with his smarmy, smug persona to pull off Hunt as well as before. Patton has a few decent scenes but nothing too spectacular. The main standouts for the cast are Pegg and Renner, and that statement might be only slightly partial since I am a fan of both. Pegg does little wrong (I haven’t seen Paul so I can’t say no wrong) so his portrayal of the new field agent Benji is just the right amount of smart and confident with a bit of naivete to him that serves as a great comedic foil for the mostly stone-serious cast. Renner may be among those serious characters but I’ve liked the guy in everything I’ve seen him in and he is quite versatile as an actor with action, drama, and a hint of facetiousness coming through here. While the villains are too blase to remember their names, the dynamic from the ex-IMF team as a whole made up for them. And Anil Kapor was excellent, although not too important in the grand scheme of things.

As a whole, Ghost Protocol doesn’t come together quite as well as I remember the last installment and it may not stick out as a great action film along the lines of Die Hard. But that’s no bother. The pedestrian story aside, there is more than enough here to satisfy with some great performances by Pegg and Renner as well as the type of pacing and structure that action films should strive to abide by.

I was quite disappointed when Attack the Block did not receive a proper screening anywhere close to the Movie Scum headquarters, especially after hearing so much advance acclaim from the gazillion festivals and select screenings it had. Yet, the film is now in reach at your local Redbox or Blockbuster and I highly recommend a viewing for many of the same reasons given before: this is flat out a fun movie experience.

Think back to when we (proverbially speaking of course) were kids and there were globs of adolescent empowerment films about kids saving the day while the adults were just sitting on their thumbs. Writer and director Joe Cornish is clearly a member of that generation as the best description I can give of this film is The Goonies meets Alien. Set in a not-so-nice part of downtown London, our core cast consists of a gaggle of delinquent youths, some legitimately of the tougher sort, some not. The gang, led by Moses(!) (John Boyega) holds up the meek and defenseless Sam (Jodie Whittaker) on her way back to her block, otherwise known as an apartment building for all us ignorant American-types.

The mugging is interrupted by a projectile that destroys a car nearby and Moses is attacked while scrounging in the car by an unknown creature. Moses, not the kind willing to turn the other cheek, hunts down the being and kills it. The group brings it to Ron (Nick Frost) in an attempt to identify it as a hairless orangutan or something else. While there, they top off with ample amounts of weed since Ron runs the cannabis business inside the block for Hi-Hatz. It is not too long after that more things fall from the sky right outside the building and the tough youngsters suit up to wage war. Little did they know they were up against a few dozen feisty aliens who target the kids wherever they may go.

I’ll warn you now that you may want to turn your subtitles on while watching this. I blame equal parts poor sound design (the music drowns out the dialogue in quite a few places) and some contemporary English slang that I was quizzical on until I had the proper context. Nevertheless, Cornish quite effectively crafts the characters by way of these terms unbeknownst to a guy like me. I’m no expert and this may or may not be representative of the linguistics of London’s young adults but the many dialogue exchanges (especially in the early parts of the film) feel genuine, especially with the delivery from all of the actors. Seriously, the cultural barrier may be a factor, but there is not a single performance that I doubted during the film.

Even though the film takes place entirely in a single building and in its immediate surroundings, it is quite an adventure as the group of kids are chased around from floor to floor, apartment to apartment, with little down time in the mix. What down time there is usually provides some quick comedic bits especially with Ron and Brewis as they sit and ponder an alien invasion while getting stoned or the preteen troublemakers Probs and Mayhem as they desperately try to keep up their delinquency with the big boys. The rest of the time though is used to effectively weave elements of action, sci-fi, and horror all together as those darn aliens creep up at the most inopportune times.

I must give Cornish and the special effects teams mounds of credit for the aliens as well. Their design is very minimalist yet effectively menacing and creepy especially as you see their pronounced features in the backgrounds of dimly-lit hallways or outside of windows. There are quite a few moments that, while not “scary” per se, are very tense with the monsters popping out after the group. While some of the cast is either in too few scenes to make a difference, there are many characters that stick out, either with random quips or complete character arcs. Of all, Boyega as Moses is one of the more compelling written and performed characters in a while as he gradually learns to embrace responsibility and self-sacrifice.

There is a ton more that I quite enjoyed in this film that I just briefly touched on, but suffice to say, all of the hype and acclaim that Attack the Block received is well-deserved. As a bonus, you can even make an effective drinking game out of the abundance of times bruv, fam, or innit are said.

I have no idea what Hollywood is thinking sometimes. With the constant remakes, reboots and re-imaginings of so many movies clogging up the theater it’s hard to find something … different. If it’s not a “classic” movie from only 10 years ago that is being shoved back in our faces, it’s the deluge of “Super Hero” movies filling every marquee in town. I, for one, am quite simply, sick of it. That is where Hobo with a Shotgun comes in.

It’s plain to see from the title alone that this is not your ordinary movie. When I first saw the box when it was released, I was skeptical. I have proven that I have a increasingly strange and probably unnatural love of bad movies. Having said that, even I don’t make a purchase on a whim knowing absolutely nothing of what I am plopping down my hard earned cash for. However after seeing some reviews online, twitter, and personal friends recommending the movie to me, I made my choice. (Quick side bar; I actually purchased the movie with the full intention of watching it that way, until it popped up on Netflix. Thus saving me the $20. Score!)

Hobo (as I will refer to it from here on to keep things short) stars a haggard-looking Rutger Hauer in the titular starring role. The character he plays is never given a name other than “Hobo” so it’s not like I am just forgetting it. The hobo rides into a new town on the rail car with nothing more than a bindle, cane, and the hopes of starting a fresh new life. Once in town Hobo soon realizes that this is not a happy place to make a new start. Crime is rampant in the streets. From the very beginning of the movie the hobo is witness to a brutal murder of a man at the hands of his very own brother and nephews. The murderers are “Slick”, “Ivan” and their father “The Drake”. Drake runs the town, and rules over the people inhabiting it with a bloody iron fist. Those that oppose him are brutally murdered. Hell, even those that DON’T oppose him are brutally murdered.

Hobo is trying to just stay out of the way, keep his head down, and turn his life around without dying. This all changes when he steps in to help save a prostitute’s life. Unfortunately for him he got on the bad side of “Slick” who is Drake’s more violent and sadistic son. Slick decides to take his revenge on the Hobo and the girl (Abby though she is credited as “Prostitute”). Well that is enough to send the hobo over the edge of crazy cliff. He snaps, buys a shotgun, and well… decides to kill just about everyone that gets in his way. In his own weird murderous way, he is just trying to clean up the town, and maybe take down an insane dictator along the way.

I was told that this movie would be one that was insanely bloody, gruesome, and more than most can handle. I guess that would have been the case if I hadn’t seen so many crazy Tokyo Shock movies before this one. There was only one scene that was kind of out of line involving children. However given that the ENTIRE movie was so crazy over the top, it wasn’t that bad. Also the payoff for that scene later in the movie makes it all worth while. For the most part, it was really bloody, sure, but nothing that any fan of gory horror movies isn’t accustomed to.

Surprisingly enough, the acting is pretty good. Hauer straddles the fine line between crazy and caring pretty well. Sure, he dips to one side or the other in certain scenes, but it never felt over played. I don’t think the rest of the cast has ever been in a movie before (at least not that I am familiar with) but they all do a great job. I actually really liked the guy that played “Ivan”. It felt like he stepped right off the set of some 80′s midnight movie and on to this one. One spot in the movie however was so completely OVER acted it was literally laugh out loud funny. I won’t spoil it but it involves a doctor and nurse that may be just a little stressed out at work and not willing to lose their patient. Hilarious, trust me.

Even though this was not a true “Hollywood” movie, the big production companies can learn a thing or two from Hobo. Sure it won’t win any Oscars or Golden Globes, but it was original and that goes a lot farther than a remake. It reminds me of “Planet Terror.” A movie with high production value, that was made for the one thing that people seem to have forgotten about… Fun. Going to the movies should be fun again, and this movie goes a long way to restoring my faith in future directors. Also, how can you go wrong with the line, “We’re going on a trip to hell, and you’re riding SHOTGUN!”

Republished with permission from 3SMOVRadio.com

I don’t have air conditioning in my car. This makes commuting rather uncomfortable especially last week as a blistering heat wave across the country produced temperatures in the 100s. See the images on the top and side of this post? Click one and help Puck have AC. Anyways, on insanely hot days, I almost always think of Die Hard with a Vengeance as it is a movie that almost makes you sweat from the heat atop the New York City streets. Let’s disregard that a lot of the film was made in South Carolina. But I’m rambling now, so let’s get on with the review.

When I reviewed Die Hard some time ago, it had been a while since seeing it. Thus, I was captivated at the sheer brilliance of it all, not just for a “mindless” action film, but because it is a damn solid story that pretty much built all the action movie tropes still in use today. It’s second sequel though, DHWAV for short, gives Hollywood a damn fine template for creating a action sequel that is not downright insulting to the viewer (cough… Speed 2).

In his review of this film, Roger Ebert lamented that while movies of previous years were satisfied with one or two major action scenes, “now there are movies that are essentially nothing but sensational stunt sequences.” While a smidgeon of action may have met the audience’s expectations a few decades ago, everything is bigger, badder, and louder in our constant struggle to outdo our predecessors. That is where movies like Salt come in with a huge disparity between dialogue and action to the detriment of the former. DHWAV isn’t as reflective or character driven as the original blockbuster that spawned it but it sure makes up for that it balls-to-the-wall action that is the pinnacle of “edge-of-your-seat” cinema.

Writer Jonathan Hensleigh reportedly developed the story as a standalone film and only later was it tweaked to fit in with the Die Hard franchise. Compare that to Die Hard 2, which sucks because it is a shameless retread of the original. Right off the bat, that fixes a number of problems with the second. In this one, John McClane (Bruce Willis) is obviously back, but he is now in New York again, separated again and just shy of being kicked off the police force. When after the second did McClane and Holly start feuding again? Why is he on suspension now (surely, his loose cannon persona would have come forward by now)? How many hours a day does McClane watch Captain Kangaroo? These pressing questions are not even address here, but they aren’t even asked. Perhaps as a way of divorcing the film from the lackluster previous entry, you really need to know nothing going into this film other than there was a first movie called Die Hard.

Sure, there is the fact that Simon (Jeremy Irons) is the brother of the first film’s villain that may be nice to know. But it’s hardly required since the revenge angle is quickly dropped by the antagonist himself. Instead, Simon is the best/worst example of a mercenary: he is perturbed that McClane took his brother skydiving without a parachute but he really just wants the billions of dollars in gold located at the NY Fed branch. Simon has intricate and sometimes scary objectives for McClane, but only to get him out of the way, nothing more. And Hensleigh’s script works so well because the scenes of McClane and Zeus (Samuel L. Jackson) bickering back and forth while solving the riddles are mostly extraneous but they add much more to the story than most films of this genre do.

Yes, it can be said that Jackson plays the same loud-mouthed character in every film and this one is no exception. But Zeus is such a fun character with his insights, his yelling, and his racist-radar (racar?) that make him an endearing character with a real arc as he goes from angry bystander, to angry unwilling participant, to angry hero. Reginald VelJohnson‘s presence is not missed. And Willis seems to have been phoning in the same performance for a number of years but here he proves that McClane is an action hero along the lines of … well, McClane is his own breed of smart-ass, tough-as-nails NYPD cop. Sometime between the original and this film, McClane has become supercop who can manage to be everywhere when he needs to, get out of impossible situations unscathed, and always save the day. It is a departure from the relatively humble McClane from the first but, oh well. I’m sure Die Hard 2 was the cause of that.

Regardless of the almost non-existent factual basis for the story, the action, or the horrific “German” spoken in the movie, returning director John McTiernan is able to pack in so much that there really is no time to process any of the quips. Once the beginning credits end, the movie starts with a bang and does not let up until the end, save for the scenes between McClane and Zeus early on which add a needed sense of levity. It’s a shame that McTiernan has not done much recently (likely due to some … legal issues) since his resume is much less checkered that other renowned directors. The man knows how to make an action film click and has a method which make even the expected (since I have seen this movie far more than I care to admit) still worrisome as it is ongoing.

With such a strong story and action sequences, Die Hard with a Vengeance could likely have been over three hours without growing tiresome. The ending is a bit of a letdown since it seems so pedestrian and separate from the rest of the film. That ending though is allegedly a tacked-on studio demand but even it’s presence does not diminish the greatness of this movie. The first Die Hard is a classic in its own right and easily in the top 3 action movies ever made. DHWAV is damn close to matching its excellence, even in its own way.

Marvel has had a pretty good batting average since taking their films in-house a few years ago beginning with the lauded Iron Man. Even though their latest films have not lived up to that high standard (in fairness, that’s not an easy task), their output has been consistently on the good side with Thor and the latest Hulk movie both being quite enjoyable. Of course, the big draw is next year’s Avengers, the super-superhero movie which will hopefully find a way to congeal all of these wildly different comic book protagonists in a cohesive sense. The last stop before Avengers though is the first Avenger: Captain America.

I should not need to preface this review by saying I know squat about the comic series; this should be assumed by now. Captain America was created in the early 1940s but rose in popularity during World War II for obvious reasons. The comic, as well as the film center around Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), a scrawny kid from Brooklyn, who desperately wants to join the military but is rejected due to his lack of physical prowess as well as a laundry list of other ailments. He sees yet another rubber stamp denying his entry into greatness but Rogers is undeterred and attempts enlisting again and again hoping for a different outcome. All seems bleak for the barely 100 pound runt until Dr. Erskine (Stanley Tucci), a brilliant German scientist approaches him with a solution. Rogers is taken to training under the watch of Colonel Phillips (Tommy Lee Jones) and Peggy Carter (Hayley Atwell) to determine if he is suitable for an experimental program.

When asked why he was chosen, Erskine tells Rogers that he was not chosen because of his physique but because of his character and his bravery. Rogers wants nothing more than to serve his country and fight in WWII and with the help of a serum developed Erskine and inventor Howard Stark, he becomes a super-soldier with abilities far exceeding his counterparts. He takes the name of Captain America and goes from hawking war bonds in stage shows to running down members of Hydra, a diabolical subsect of the Nazi party led by Johann Schmidt (Hugo Weaving). Schmidt, also known as Red Skull, previously underwent an early version of Erskine’s compound which only enhanced his evilness and fueled a desire to destroy the established nations of the world.

Even compared to the previous Marvel films, Captain America is a more genuine tale seemingly plucked from a decade from long ago, and not just the because of the awesomely created 1940s set pieces. Erskine asks Rogers before enlistening if he wants to kill Nazis. He remarks that he does not want to kill anyone, but he hates bullies. We see a brief moment before the transformation of Rogers getting pummeled by a much larger man yet he refuses to run away. The main draw of the story is the notion that this underdog with a heart of gold is the key to defeating the evil in the world. All of the cast, mostly Evans, play their characters very straightforward without an underlying hint of facetiousness. While it makes the film not quite as fun as Iron Man, it gives it more credibility than just a jaunt in the shallow summer movie world.

This year was a risky proposition with a glut of superhero movies coming out almost seemingly back-to-back. Fortunately, as this is (as far as I can tell) the last comic book tale this year, it closes off with a bang. Director Joe Johnston took great care in assembling all the facets of the film from the excellent design of the 1940s Marvel universe, to the high-tech gadgets and weapons that no one seems really fazed by, but especially with the cast which is one of the best ensembles I have seen in this type of film. Especially noteworthy were Jones, who could probably play a grizzled old man in his sleep yet is more than enthusiastic, and Weaving who plays an awesome bad guy no matter what the film. Given the story and the time period, several moments could have easily veered into the overly patriotic or the overly fantastical, but Johnston keeps that reeled in.

We still have a few more big films to go this summer, but thus far Captain America is the one to beat. It hearkens back to a bygone era, not just of movie making but of fully developed and likable characters, rousing action pieces, and helmed by a director who isn’t afraid to let you see what the hell is going on. It may not have as much emotional depth as I would have liked and it has a really odd structure to the story, but if those are the only things holding this back, you can tell we have a winner.

I may have said it before, but let me reiterate: 1994 was a huge year in movies for a young Puck. Today’s random movie was one of the apexes of my love for movies. I saw Speed in theaters only once but I more than made up for it when it was released on VHS (ahh, nostalgia). Within a week, I was quoting the movie verbatim to all of my discerning middle school friends. They thought I was a loon. Perhaps they were right. But then again, Speed kicks ass. So, I claim victory even if none of them will know it.

Almost immediately, Speed kicks off with a rather enthralling opening that is actually relevant with rest of the movie! A mad bomber has rigged a downtown L.A. elevator with a bomb that spells doom for the dozen or so passengers on board. With some quick thinking by S.W.A.T. members Jack (Keanu Reeves) and Harry (Jeff Daniels), the bomber’s plans are thwarted and the passengers saved with the bomber allegedly blowing himself up once the jig is up.

Sometime later, Mr. Bomber notifies Jack that he has planted a bomb on a bus. That bus cannot drop below 50 MPH or else it will explode. This proves quite difficult in L.A. traffic with random baby carriages, school children, and inept cops trying their damnedest to make that bus blow up. It is a simple concept, to which there have been many copycats (anyone else remember the insanely ludicrous Chill Factor with Cuba and Skeet?), but Speed excels where many other films have failed.

In a perfect world, Speed would be regarded as a tentpole of the action genre like Die Hard is. It certainly helps that director Jan de Bont was director of photography on said action tentpole film as well as many other highly regarded pictures. Throughout the run time, the kinetic feel is quite engrossing with the constant threat of harm and the cat and mouse game between the cops and the bomber (Dennis Hopper). Hell, I’ve seen this more times than I care to admit and even some of the sequences such as Jack’s entrance to the bus or the freeway jump are crafted so nicely as to defy you to be ambivalent during them.

Keanu has caught a lot of flack over the years with his emotionless, wooden acting but this is likely the role he was born to play (Neo notwithstanding). In fact, I can only think of Keanu belting out timeless lines like “shoot the hostage” or “yeah, but I’m taller” with the absurdly subdued emotions that his character calls for. Sandra Bullock as the makeshift bus driver Annie is frantic, yet sweet and funny as the perfect candidate for what a leading Hollywood actress should be (well, before Speed 2 that is).

The best part of the acting front though is hands-down Dennis Hopper. Howard Payne, the bomber, is frustrated and demented and Hopper nails that persona with all the over-the-top acting he can muster. In any other movie, his performance would be laughable. But the biggest strength of Speed is that it is played serious even though the story is quite implausible. That makes Payne merely another colorful character in this implausible universe.

And unlike many big action movies, Speed is, for the most part, grounded in some semblance of reality. The threat is bizarre, but conceivable and other than the aforementioned bus jump, there is little else in the film that makes you stop and think, “wait, that didn’t make ANY damn sense.” Compare it to a “Cobra-stole-the-warhead” alarm or random action heroes outrunning huge explosions (take your pick for which movie) and Speed is one the same footing as Die Hard with an average Joe stuck in an guy stuck in an unparalleled situation.

Since action movies typically have a “check your brain at the door” mentality about them, those that don’t adhere to that only stand out more prominently. As such, with such a great combination of story, cast, and crew, Speed is far better than it has any right to be.

We here at Movie Scum love the Jesusflix. Most of the time, it is truly a blessing. Recently however, I found myself at odds with it upon seeing Speed 2: Cruise Control would be available for instant viewing. Under normal circumstances, I would be able to resist the temptation to watch it as that would mean putting forth effort to either buy or rent it. But, when I saw it was on the Jesusflix, I caved like a trampoline under a fat kid.

I have previously seen this movie a whopping one time in theaters upon its release. After it hit video later that year, I bought a VHS of it from Kmart. It was defective. That was likely divine intervention. Yet, I have always wondered: is it really that bad? Was I just a naive kid at the time like the rest of the IMDb readers who cumulatively rate this movie with a 3.4? Would I be able to wring some enjoyment out of watching it again? The answers to those questions are yes, no, and … well, sort of.

Taking my least favorite method of sequelism, Speed 2 photocopies the same plot from the first film and tweaks it ever so slightly to take place on an out-of-control cruise ship rather than the so 1994 out-of-control bus. The only meaningful returning member from the first, Annie, is dating an L.A.P.D. cop (but not Keanu Reeves!) and attempting to enjoy a relaxing vacation on a cruise liner filled with the fat people, deaf kids, and UB40. Add in a tremendously over-the-top villain with some half-cocked revenge/heist plan and you’ve got … well, a shitty movie.

I doubt I will be able to accurately convey my thoughts on this movie in the standard review format. Let me then requisition PBF’s list of gripes made famous by the G.I. Joe and Final Chapter reviews, but this time as the movie unfolds!

• Alex’s (Jason Patric) job is apparently to be involved in clichéd action movie chases.
• When did Annie (Sandra Bullock) get ditzy, annoying, and emotional? I guess we can blame Jack for that.
• Keanu Reeves opted not to come back. Good for him. He gets a nice send-off from the obviously jilted filmmakers.
• Jan de Bont has apparently embraced the shaky-cam since his last film. That last film was Twister. I can’t decide which is worse.
• Tim Conway might be here for comedic relief, but it’s not working. I blame Annie for that.
• Joe Morton (in a cameo role) has apparently decided to really suck at acting after the first.
• Aw, thanks Random Cop for blowing Alex’s secret career. Annie disapproves.
• You know what Speed was surely not missing? Stupid, emotional scenes with Annie complaining.
• They aren’t newlyweds Dante, you terrible, cardboard cut-out of a character!
• Geiger surely is upset about his golf clubs. The most subdued acting by Willem Dafoe in this movie.
• Annie is really, truly excited about drugs in the air conditioning or something. I’m not paying attention, I admit.
• Alex is planning to propose to Annie. Poor man, if I could teleport back in time and into fictional movies, I’d save you.
• Ah, the upbeat Jamacain band to bring everyone together. Do they get sucked into the propeller soon?
• Geiger getting ready for the assault with his eels and explosive golf clubs. If not for the fact that he is batshit crazy, Geiger would be a non-entity.
• Alex knows sign language. How appropriate since there is a deaf girl on board! Action Movie Cliche #11: Young Infirm Child in Danger.
• This analogy of dining-out to marriage is drawn out uncomfortably long.
• Did Geiger just use the passcode of 123456 to get into the engine room? Stupid fucking movie.
• Next day, more emotionally wrought scenes with Annie. Now, she’s complaining about a badge number.
• Score one cheesy line for Dafoe with “Let’s not split hairs.” How is that applicable unless you are beating someone with a rabbit?
• The parents of the deaf girl insult her and let her run off. Such loving caregivers.
• And just as he’s about to propose, the engine blows up. Damn inconvenient plot point.
• This girl has been in the elevator for about ten minutes. Is this is a skyscraper cruise ship?
• It is nice that Geiger gives the captain fifteen minutes to evacuate the ship. Of course, we know some group of jackholes will mess that up.
• A fat guy screaming “Let Me In There!” to a closed door is, surprisingly, not effective.
• Of course Alex goes off to investigate. And Annie looks annoyed. She’s super supportive!
• And now action hero Alex goes to save the people he endangered in the first place. What a dream boat!
• Dante is the most annoying damsel-in-distress of our times.
• Now Geiger is stealing thousands of dollars worth of jewelry that just happened to be on the ship. A heist? So overdone.
• Temuera Morrison as the captain is actually quite good. His performance does not make me want to vomit, at least.
• They’ve found out the bad guy is Geiger. Now to go accost him with skeet guns and have a nice talk.
• Drew (the deaf girl) has some kickin’ shoes. And apparently supergirl strength to be able to effortlessly open an elevator door without power.
• I sure hope all cruise ships randomly carry around chainsaws to … get rid of any trees blocking the way?
• Alex finds a way to slow the ship down. Drew is in harm’s way by doing so. It isn’t revisited after she’s safe.
• “Relationships based on extreme circumstances never work.” It’s a funny recollection of the first. Even funnier since that was not the original line.
• Stand-off between Alex and Geiger, one holding a gun, the other holding a supermarket scanner. This is riveting.
• Geiger has the worst motive ever: copper poisoning after working on computers. Umm … I think we’d all be dead if that were true.
• Dafoe sounds like a loon and looks like a horse when laughing. There you go, Hollywood: the maniacal horse.
• Alex is such a true action hero. Even smoke inhalation doesn’t faze him!
• Way to go, Annie! Throwing your arms up and saying “Oh, man!” is quite conducive to avoiding imminent death.
• When did they throw a wrench in a transmission in the first film? Oh, wait. They didn’t. Stupid movie.
• I think Geiger has spent the better part of this movie running around the bowels of the ship. I say “better part” because it isn’t as insulting as the rest.
• Of course Annie is taken hostage. Because otherwise, the filmmakers would have to find other ways for her to annoy the shit out of the audience.
• Geiger is so mean to Annie! Sure, he’s killed a few people directly and indirectly thus far, but there’s no reason to be such an ass!
• Hey, that’s the same watch that Keanu had in the first! Have I mentioned that this is the only film to make me yearn for Keanu Reeves?
• I’ll give it props and say that the effects in this movie are pretty good, even for today’s standards. The writing on the other hand …
• Like this … the ship is approaching a large, sea-side city at relatively fast speeds. Yet none of the boaters seem to notice until they are mincemeat.
• Dropping the anchor won’t stop the ship. But, let’s do it anyway!
• That boat must have been made of dynamite for the explosion it gave!
• “Seven knots!” Oh great. I forgot about the fucking annoying Scottish navigator who has to announce the speed as it drops.
• What is this town made of? Cardboard and tissue paper?
• “Six knots!”
• The acting in this movie is atrocious. Utterly, mind-numbing, god-awful.
• “Five knots!”
• Damn shop owner! Just because a boat is crashing into your city doesn’t mean I don’t want my pumpernickel bread!
• “Four knots!”
• Damn boat! You missed the little kid!
• “Two knots! Almost stopped!” Wait, what happened to three? I hate inconsistency.
• Oh, it’s a fat guy coming out of 7-11, worried about his car. I bet bad things happen to it.
• “Zero.”
• Ha, I could’ve called it even if I hadn’t seen the movie. At least the dog is okay.
• “We docked! I can’t believe it!” Dante is the most worthless of characters in this most worthless of movies.
• “Zero.” Okay, dude. We get it!
• At least the ship is stopped and the passengers are safe, the movie should be over now, right?
• Fuck, does Annie really have to be rescued? Just let that b-word drown.
• The return of TUNEMAN. Glenn Plumber should’ve stayed on ER.
• Hey, dude. Instead of saying “you’ve got to be kidding me” you could just say, “fuck, no, you’re not having my boat.”
• And, can you tell the balding Mrs. TUNEMAN to shut her trap. It’s annoying. “Look, fireworks!”
• I’m sure a suction cup the size of my thumb can withhold the weight of a man being drug through the water.
• I would’ve liked a Dennis Hopper-esque “MY MONEY!!!” when Annie throws the jewelry out.
• And Geiger flies into the very tanker he tried to crash the cruise ship into. Oh, the ironing!
• Dafoe must have gotten his teeth enlarged for this role.
• How does a plane suspended 30 feet above the deck cause the entire tanker to explode? Oh, wait. I’m still watching Speed 2.
• And now Alex finally gets around to proposing. Hasn’t the entire film dissuaded him from wanting to be around Annie?
• Oh, thank god! It’s over!
• Damn! Another driving test! Oh, a humorous callback to the beginning of the film and to the original. Yeah. It’s really over now.

So, in summary: Speed 2 sucks ass. It’s not to the level that would warrant a crap category since it is fairly entertaining. Although, that entertainment is based on admiring the shitty script, horrible acting, and waste of the hundreds of millions this movie probably cost.

Up until today, I can’t remember the last time I watched Predator 2 in its entirety. Whenever I see it on TV, on Demand, or on the Jesusflix, I usually catch the first fifteen minutes with arguably one of the greatest action-movie gunfire battles ever. The rest of the movie? Well, let’s just say it does not live up to its opening, but surely not for a lack of trying.

Apparently Los Angeles in the late 90s wasn’t destined to be a nice place. We can get additional confirmation from watching Demolition Man. But anyways … the gangs in L.A. are fierce, the drugs are flowing with ease, and the cops are outmanned and outgunned to do anything about it. Lieutenant Mike Harrigan (Danny Glover) causes much consternation with his superiors when he goes against orders and enters a downtown building filled with gang members. Fortunately for the police, an unknown party takes out the coked-up rapscallions leaving behind lots of blood, a skinned body, and the fresh scent of Predator-ing.

As Harrigan and his team, including Bill Paxton (!) and Maria Conchita Alonso, investigate the matter, they are pulled off the assignment by the no-nonsense captain as it is under the control of a federal taskforce, including a somewhat subdued Gary Busey and the always welcome Adam Baldwin. The first half of the film then consists of Harrigan being a loose cannon, going against direct orders, and muttering things under his breath. Shockingly, one of those things was not “I’m getting too old for this shit.” In fact, a lot of the movie up until things get all talky could be construed for a lost Lethal Weapon installment, minus Riggs of course, with the Predator substituted for a South African diplomat, a Chinese Triad, or … Gary Busey. Huh.

This film gets a bad rap but primarily coming off of McTiernan’s damn excellent original. I was shocked when watching it again just how violent it was with the gunfights, skinned bodies, and senseless violence galore. Sure, you can tell that much of the more over-the-top gore was excised for the ratings board but a lot made it through. But even with enough violence to shake a parental group at, the film seems almost cobbled together from other action movie staples with a bit of Predator action at the end to justify the title.

Director Stephen Hopkins‘ film basically suffers the same fate as his NOES installment: namely, it’s interesting and looks pretty but the story doesn’t do the rest of it any favors. Especially when the story comes to a screeching halt at the beginning of the final act of the film. Up until that point, the Predator is largely unknown by Harrigan and his crew but leave it to good ol’ Gary Busey to deliver exposition including a recap of the first film in a manner only he can pull off. The effects however are top-notch but the Predator is shown way too much in the final reel, complete with 80s action movie quips like “shit happens.” Yep, even the Predators are aware of Forrest Gump’s contribution to the human race.

I hear that the AVP films are far worse which is a shame because the reveal at the end of this one could have lead to a bunch of entertaining movies: some random action star battling a Predator in the locale of the filmmaker’s choice. I feel that this movie tried to be that but was too bogged down in either explicit or subconscious references to other movies of its era.