If it seems that Hollywood is all about the easy dollar these days with remakes, adaptations, and sequels to existing properties, you would be correct. But let us remember a time, back in the day if you will, that movies could be movies without launching franchises. Here are several pretty big movies that may (or may not) have missed their shot at spawning offspring.

9. Twister
The inclusion of this film may be premature, but it is hard to believe that 1996′s $240 million blockbuster did not spawn a sequel. Maybe a sequel could shift the focus to Alan Ruck and Philip Seymour Hoffman in a small town where tornadoes are targeting a nuclear power plant. Oh wait. Zack Morris already did that movie.

8. Independence Day
This is another one with recent rumbles of a sequel but who knows when we might see more of Bill Pullman playing President Awesome or Will Smith being … every other action star Will Smith has ever played. Now, I get that this is not a high-caliber movie but who did not cheer when Randy Quaid did very suggestive things to that alien spaceship? Anyone? Okay, moving along now.

7. Runaway
You have all of the elements of classic 80s and cheese in this movie: mustache, KISS, Kirstie Alley. Why did Michael Crichton never think to get on a sequel where Lois goes hay-wire and carves up young Bobby for Thanksgiving dinner? Get Paul Stanley this time as the evil genius behind it all, add Shelley Long in the mix and you’ve got yourself a blockbuster going!

6. Galaxy Quest
Star Trek fans may not have liked it too much but Galaxy Quest was fine cinema spoof and/or satire (I can never tell which) at its very best. I am sure it can’t be hard to drag Tim Allen back for another after the latest Toy Story movie comes out. The rest of the cast … eh, that may be a bit harder. As long as Sam Rockwell is in, I can dig it.

5. Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
Director Robert Zemeckis had over a decade after the first before he would go crazy with motion-capture animation, more than enough time for a sequel to reunite Roger Rabbit, his lovely wife Jessica, baby Herman, and the rest of the animated and live-action cast. Hell, if Bob Hoskins wasn’t available, we could have lived with Kenneth Branagh in his place.

4. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
If anyone could make calling in for a sick day from work entertaining, it would be Ferris Bueller. You know you’ve played hooky from work to sit around and read Movie Scum or plant in the garden. It would be tough now without John Hughes but to see Ferris weasel his way out of staff meetings and team building exercises just to drink beer and watch porn would be the catharsis of an entire working class.

3. Office Space
Realizing it would be next to impossible to recapture the passive-aggressive, self-loathing sense of the characters in the original, I would love to see another workplace comedy that nails the characterizations of the smug, SOB boss, annoying co-workers, and sense of dread when walking into a cubicle farm or retail establishment or fast food restaurant or anything else Mike Judge deems is funny.

2. Blade Runner
Sure, so it tanked at the box office back in 1982. But since then, the tales of replicant-hunting Deckard have been etched into the mainstream of cult cinema and beloved by all … except me that is. Possibly a forthcoming sequel could entice me to actually sit and watch the entire first part without falling asleep or becoming insanely homicidal from boredom. So what if it’s over twenty years later? That didn’t stop another Harrison Ford series from being unjustly resurrected.

1. Any Arnold Schwarzenegger movie (except Conan, Predator or Terminator)
Just look at his resume and tell me you would not want to see a sequel to Commando, The Running Man, or Total Recall. Hell, I’d even be game for a Kindergarten Cop sequel if it was Ah-nuld in high school English as he wields puns in his thick Austrian accent. I would really love though a True Lies sequel if James Cameron can get off his giant CGI Smurf infatuation.

Pop quiz! When I say Michael Crichton what’s the first movie that comes to mind? Jurassic Park? Nice job! Twister? Not too bad! Sphere? Congo? Now you’re just messing with me. If you did not think of his smashing directorial success Runaway, I wouldn’t be surprised. This is such an old favorite of mine that I’ve never heard anyone else even acknowledge (excepting PBF who probably saw in theaters). A 1984 movie about killer robots? How original! Oh wait. Terminator didn’t have Tom Selleck’s mustache though.

Taking place “in the future” or some weird alt-history 1980s, Tom Selleck’s Jack Ramsey is head of the runaway squad, a group of police who deal with industrial and household robots that misbehave. Things start off rather uneventful until a servant robot decides to dice up two people and hold an infant hostage at gunpoint. Ramsey discovers the robot was purposely tasked to go off the handle by the over-the-top Gene Simmons to eliminate an engineer who developed the computer chips that overrode his robot’s commands. The rest of the story unfolds as Ramsey tries to catch up with Simmons’ Charles Luther to prevent him from producing and using the chips. Now, if this sounds all fancy and technical, it’s really not. The story, also written by Crichton, is actually fairly straight-forward and cliched. You could substitute computer chips for illegal guns, drugs, or Ferbies and have the plot for many scores of other action movies.

Where this film gets it right though is the direction. Sadly, Crichton did not direct too many films, presumably due to churning out a new book every few years. However, the composition of the film and the tension throughout is actually quite good, as long as you can suspend your disbelief of the “cutting edge technology.” Now, its unfair to judge the movie based on the standards of technology today as, similiar to Terminator, the story dealt with the fear of the increasing number of machines taking over for humans and what could happen if things went wrong. While I do not yet have a housekeeper robot who looks like a love child between a college dorm fridge and a boombox, we do have Roombas and unmanned drones and bomb disarming robots. So, while Cameron’s flick dealt with runaway robots on a global level (with the resulting death and destruction), Runaway focuses more on them locally and the havoc only a few rogue machines can do with the wrong Kiss member behind the scenes.

Almost all around, the movie is quite good compared to its relatively cheap 80s counterparts. Acting wise, Selleck and the MIA Cynthia Rhodes share quite a few good moments as they bond throughout the movie (even if Ramsey is the most densest action character in films, she wants to jump your bones!). Simmons is quite over the top in just his facial expressions alone but it works quite well as he comes off as a raving lunatic. Even GW Bailey, channeling Capt. Harris, fits in the ensemble well as the requisite hard-ass captain who wants results and is never happy. Kirstie Alley though? Never been a big fan and she reminded me of her shrill performances in those damn talking kid/dog movies. And for God’s sake, if Joey Cramer‘s performance here stayed the same, things are not looking good for a revisit of Flight of the Navigator. The robots are pretty cool even if they do look quite dated. And you can’t beat those spider-ish things! They can scale walls, affix to the ceiling, jump at you, shoot acid in your face, inject you with it and then blow up! That’s bad-ass!

If anything fell flat, it would have to be the music. The normally good Jerry Goldsmith was apparently trying to sound futuristic with the all electrical score but it just further concretes the fact that you are watching a movie at the height of cheese from the decade of hair. And, while it might not be to the fault of the filmmakers, the brick-sized cell phone, the 8-color CRT computer screens, and the “futuristic” Ford Tempo police cars can be distracting if you let them be. But don’t. You’d be doing yourself a disservice. In fact, while we at Movie Scum bemoan the ever increasing tide of remakes, I would not mind a remake of this if only to make the killer robots a bit more close to home to the current century. Runaway certainly is not a perfect movie but with the right combination of makeup free Gene Simmons, Tom Selleck’s mustache, Kirstie Alley’s hair, and “futuristic” killer robots, Runaway is a classic comfort movie.

In the real world, guns are dangerous, deadly devices that should always be handled with care and respect. In movies, however, guns are awesome! Even more awesome are the futuristic guns that only exist in frantic, action-packed movie fire fights. Here are my top 9 favorite fictional fire-arms.

9. Blamethrower (Mystery Men)
The only non-lethal gun on the list, this bazooka-esque heavy weapon, designed and built by Doc Heller, fires an invisible beam that causes groups of enemies to become very angry with one another, rendering them combat-ineffective.
8. M41a Pulse Rifle (Aliens)
Arguably the most versatile weapon in the space marine arsenal, this gun combines the automatic fire of the M1A1 Thompson with an under-slung pump-action SPAS12 shotgun, loaded in the film with small grenades.
7. Samaritan (Hellboy)
A big demon that hunts other big demons needs an edge, and Hellboy’s massive revolver fits the bill. Not only is the gun itself made from mystical materials (wood from the true cross, blessed silver, etc.) but chambers four huge rounds with specific designs to harm supernatural monster types.
6. Proton Pack (Ghostbusters)
Sure, bustin’ makes you feel good, but the long term health effects of carrying around an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on your back have yet to be documented. What ever you do with it, don’t cross the streams.
5. Noisy Cricket (Men In Black)
A deceptively tiny side-arm with a lot of gusto. Presumably reverse-engineered from alien technology, this weapon fires a focused sonic wave that blasts through any targets and knocks its user on his ass. Do not discharge in view of the public.
4. Railgun with X-Ray Scope (Eraser)
As if a rifle that uses electromagnetic coils to propel a projectile at mach seven isn’t deadly enough, this version includes a targeting system capable of scanning through walls to kill people more effectively.
3. Cobra Assault Cannon (RoboCop)
Built on the same frame as the real life Barret M82A1 .50 BMG, OCP’s state-of-the-art anti-vehicle weapon fires high-explosive rounds able to obliterate the otherwise bad-ass ED-209 in a single shot.
2. Zorg model ZF-1 (The Fifth Element)
Three thousand round magazine, adjustable handle, undetectable by X-Ray, includes rocket launcher, net launcher, arrow launcher, with exploding or poisonous arrow-heads, flamethrower, ice-cube cryo-blast system, need I go on?
1. Smart Gun (Runaway)
The only thing more frightening than Gene Simmons without his KISS make-up is a pistol that fires tiny, explosive rockets capable or tracking a target down where ever he or she tries to run or hide. It’s the ultimate one shot kill.